I prefer pants, thank you, but mom always wears skirts, unless she's going to see the woman doctor. I heard her talking to Mrs. Brien about it, about how undignified it is to sit up there with your skirt hiked up around your hips. You ask me, if you go that regular, it would just be easier to wear the skirt, and no panties. Mrs. Brien told my mom how once she accidentally left her panties there, and she was so embarrassed she that she had to switch woman doctors. And mom got that look in her eye like when she finds out at church that somebody's daughter got knocked up, and said you see, that wouldn't happen if you wore pants.

Come to think of it, mom did wear pants the one other time, last October and when she and daddy went to buy our new car. That was the most boringest day of my life. They didn't even bother decorating the car lot with Halloween stuff or anything.

Anyways, I'm wearing this stupid skirt, and I pretty much hate it. Mom is sitting next to me reading McCalls. I have never seen McCalls anywhere except at the doctor or the dentist. Well, I see it on the shelf at the drug store, but I've never seen it anyone's house. Not ever.

Mom's reading and sort of humming to herself and I'm mad at her because, why do you have to get dressed up to go see the woman doctor? You'd think the pastor was coming to dinner, the way mom puts on her nice blouse and her earrings she got on that trip to Haiti and a different perfume than usual. Spends practically all day in the bath tub. One time I caught her looking in the mirror right before she left and she said to herself don't you look smart? So I'm wearing this stupid pleated skirt even though all of my sweat pants were clean and it's summer so there's shorts.

So I ask her questions just to annoy her. Like I ask her why the woman doctor is a man and why can't the woman doctor be a woman? She just gives me a look like I asked if Chinese people walk on their hands cause the earth is upside down over there. Then I tell her I need to go to the bathroom and she gets this alarmed look on her face and she says why which is normally a stupid question because why do you think? But this time I tell her I want to go take off my panties and put them in my purse so I don't forget them and she turns bright red and won't say anything. So I just sit there but I feel a little bit better.

When the nurse calls my name I stand up. She's not really a nurse, I know, because I talked to her once because maybe I want to be a nurse someday. Or a woman doctor. She told me she's not a nurse, she's just a receptionist, except she calls it office manager. But once you start calling something something you kinda get used to it. The same's true for my person. The doctor's going to look at my person and even though he uses adults words that all have the letter V in them I still call it what I did since I can't remember when. It's a little kid's name for it but it's what I'm used to.

Mom stands up too and she says to remember to tell him that it happens once a month and that's why we're here and not at the GP's. I don't know what GP is but I know about context so it's probably a regular doctor. I try to suggest that she can come on with me but she turns red again and says that's not necessary and she sits down. So what. So I walk over through the door and the receptionist asks me if it's still overcast outside. She's always pretty nice and wears this skinny old woman glasses that look actually sort of cool on her. I wanted glasses like that, and I told my dad, and he said why, and I told him about the receptionist, and he said sure, she's put together pretty well. That's a funny way to say it. But then I tried the glasses on at the eye doctor's and they just made my face look fatter.

I get in the exam room and of course the doctor's not there and I'm thinking it would be a good goof I just stripped off my panties, got into the stirrups, and had my person on display and ready to go for him right when he walked in. That makes me smile and I look outside at the wind which is blowing pretty good. Right now when summer's just started there's always too much wind and in a few months when it's hot and sticky there won't be enough. Makes you think maybe somebody got the equations wrong.

The doctor comes in and I don't even jump or anything, like it's the most natural thing in the world to be sitting in this room and for him to walk in, like we do it all the time. Then I remember my stupid pleated skirt and that sorta ruins it. He says hello Anna and how are you but it's the how are you that you don't really answer. He asks about school and my mom and my litter brother and I tell him, and it's all like how about some more coffee did you see what was in the paper looks like another warm summer on the way my stocks are doing pretty well hope the new congress doesn't screw up the economy. Just two grown-ups having a chat.

Then his tone changes and he asks me what brings me in here today. That makes me glance over at the box with the rubber gloves in it. I tell him I've been sleep walking. Sleep walking? I say I think so. I wake up and I've got bruises on my knees and elbows, sometimes scratches. And my fingernails are torn to bits and my hands are dirty. Sometimes I wake up naked, which I almost have to whisper, but I say it in a regular voice because after all, he's a woman doctor.

He uses the stethoscope and the tongue thing and takes my blood pressure and checks my pulse. He says how often does this happen and I say well, once a month, that's why I'm here.

He nods and I glance over the gloves again. He opens a drawer and takes something out and hefts it in his hands for a second, just looking at me. Then he holds it out. Hold this for a second he says.

So I do. It's just a silver bar, round, a little bit heavier than it looks. What is this.

Experiencing any nausea? Head starting to hurt? Hands feel itchy? He asks me.

No. Uh, I am kind of hungry...

Okay, he says, and takes the bar back and puts it away. He looks outside. Overcast today? Been in the sun lately?

I have to think about it. Yes... wait, yes, because dad let me borrow his sun glasses last week when we drove over to Pirc to get a some donuts. Then I start thinking about donuts. Boy, I am hungry. But not for donuts.

He sort of looks disappointed, I can tell. Might just be a boring old case of somnambulism, he says. That's the doctor word for sleep walking, he says. Lot of stress in your life lately? School? New boyfriend? Parents fighting?

Nothing like that. We got the ASST coming up, but multiple choice tests are simple.

Have you been having sexual relations? Like with a boy?

I look at the gloves again. No, all boys in my school are stupid.

He sort of smirks. What does stupid have to do with it?

I shrug. I'm not talking brains. Not brains, I'm talking, you know. Cars and football and those games with the swords and the ogres. It's all just so stupid.

Brains?

I look at him. What?

You mentioned brains... when you wake up, do you have a really bad taste in your mouth?

I think about it... I guess so. I mean, sometimes.

And you're hungry all the time?

Not all the time. But I am right now. Really hungry.

Finally he smiles. Okay. He nods his head a few times, just looking at me. Okay.

I look at the gloves again. Should I get on the table?

He smirks, and then smiles, and shakes his head. No, no, that won't be necessary. Here, he says, and turns away, picking up his prescription pad.

And right there with his back to me I decide I could pretty easily stand up, tear his head off, and eat the skin off his face. I mean, not easy like, emotionally easy. Like the first few times I got my womanhood, I was so nervous about using the tampons, even though mom said it was okay and nothing to be ashamed of, I couldn't do it, emotionally. But wearing pads made me feel like I was in diapers, like I was a little kid, so I finally tried it, and now slipping a tampon into my person is no different than putting my arm in a coat sleeve.

But I don't mean I could rip off his head and eat the insides emotionally. I mean I was pretty sure his head would come off easy like the head of a squirrel or a rabbit and his skin would tasty salty and coppery but actually pretty good if you didn't chew it too much, just tore it.

Then I looked down at my fingernails. They were so damn dirty.

He turned around with the prescription, and held it out to me. I have an arrangement with a butcher over on Maple. Give this to your mom, and she'll know what to do.

I take it, and of course you can't read a damn thing. She will?

Sure. Then he winks. Sleep walking runs in your family, Anna.