The phrase “killing two birds with one stone,” comes from the ancient practice of throwing rocks at fowl to kill them.
Many people believe George Washington was the first president of the US, and most of them are right.
Jellyfish do not have toes.
Murder has been illegal in America since its founding.
Three fourths of the people in Maine compromise roughly 75% of the population of that state.
Don Knotts has never been on the moon, Mercury, Jupiter, nor Neptune. Don Rickles has never been on Saturn. Don Henly has never eaten an entire elephant.
The word for chicken in Spanish is “pollo” (POI-yo).
There is no “i” in “team.”
Two wrongs do not make a right, but three lefts do.
Bob, Bobby, Rob, Robby, Bert, Berty, Robot, Robe, and Spit are all diminutive sobriquets for the western languages’ boy’s name “Robert.”
The 27th anniversary is the “spider-web tattoo” anniversary.
The tallest man in the world was pretty damn tall.
Cows are made out of the same material as footballs and leather gloves.
If a man drops out of medical school in Lisbon, he is not applauded nor given a celebration with cake and ice-cream.
Water is so wet that if you put some on a t-shirt the garment could become “soaked”
Ketchup has two spellings. Catsup has two as well.
If you have 50 cents, you have half a dollar.
Sunday the 16th, 1993 was the first day of that week.
Farting has been known to cause bad odors.
The office of congressman in the US legislature has never been held by a three-year-old.
Officially, more people die of old age than any other age.
Ronald Reagan was once 37 years old for at least 365 days.
Although cows have four stomachs, they can only belch one “burp” at a time.
“Filthy” is the only word spelled that way.
Carcinogens have been known to cause cancer in laboratory rats.

Gay dragons are called "dragons."
“White lies” are called that because if they were purple they would be called “purple lies.”
Wine is made out of grapes, but you can also make wine out of bee’s hair (it doesn’t taste as good).
24 hours a day, seven days a week is pretty much all the time.
In New York City it is illegal to punch a man in the jaw with your fist.
Firecrackers were invented by the Chinese, as were noodles, but there are no such thing as fire-cracker-noodles.
They’re called fingers, but what do they fing?
Despite “the force,” Darth Vader is unable to “tango.”
Popcorn is neither “pop” (soda) nor “Korn” (the rock band).
Contrary to popular belief, you may, in fact, “squeeze” the “Charmin”.
For significantly large values of 1, 1+1 = 3.
Attila the Hun’s actual name was “Manny.”
Neither a borrower, nor a lender, be.
The other white meat after pork is snake, followed closely by sloth and albino alligator. Mice meat and squirrels meat are in ninth and tenth places, respectively.
Where ever you go, there you are.
Dr. Evil is. Arthur Ashe wasn’t.
In Massachusetts and parts of Maine, John F. Kennedy was known more for his political career than his pickle jar collection.
The state with the longest name is Rhode Island. By an odd coincidence, it also the state with the longest lines to get into “Denny’s.”
Jesus had no middle name.
The verb “to circumcise” is different from the verb “to circumnavigate.” Be careful when asking for one or the other on a “Hospital Cruise.”
Beef. It’s what’s for dinner.
Shakespeare is still called “the bard” despite his having two thumbs and only one left foot.
Although “punt” rhymes with “Funt,” it is not know if the late Allen Funt ever played football. But actually, it is.
Although there is no “i” in “team,” there is a “me.” (hint: mix up the letters).
In Dorritt, Michigan, all urban legends are actually true.

Shakespeare's mother memorized Leviticus.
No one knows why.
Mickey Mouse was originally called Mortimer. Superman was originally called Really Powerful Man. South Park was originally called Denver.
Decapitation kills.
Einstein’s last words were “Where are my pants?”
Although Van Gogh chopped off his ear and mailed it to a prostitute, it is not known if she actually needed one.
David was five last year. Now he’s six.
“Star Wars: The Phantom Menace” broke many box office records, including the record for most tickets sold at a movie called “The Phantom Menace.”
You can get “butter” from an “udder.”
While it is considered bad manners to point, you may “refer.”
You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink. This is also true for rabbits and the sasquatch, (also know as “Bigfoot”).
Bill Gates has sold more computers than there are people on the earth who give a damn.
Laser eye-surgery was invented by the ancient Egyptians. No one knows why.
Everybody loves Raymond.
Dogs and cats have been domesticated to act as enemies. In the wild, they are often poker buddies.
The only way to get between a rock and a hard place is to get “caught.”
Your average rhinoceros has no lips.
Joe Montana of the San Francisco 49ers was able to eat seven hard boiled eggs at the same time, but he never did.
“Anybody’s guess” does not include babies or ferrets.
They are called “cell” phones, but they have nothing to do with mitosis.
There is no one in Mississippi named “Blaine.”
A study performed in 1922 showed that the year 3014 is a god damned long ways away.
If you cut a crumb in half, you have two crumbs. You can not have “half of a crumb.”
Victoria’s Secret is that she doesn’t have one.
While the so called “humerus” may be the funniest part of the body, the anus is probably the most challenging.
Chester Cheetah is not actually a cheetah. He is a panda bear named Milo.
You can’t teach an old dog new tricks, not even the macarena.

The necktie was invented by Confucius.
Elvis owned two hundred television sets, but ironically, he neither got cable nor owned a VCR.
The rarest lollipop flavor: cream cheese.
Red moon at night, sailor’s delight. Red moon at dawn, sailor be warned. Red moon crashing into the earth, sailor, you’re fucked.
If a man counts to a billion, saying one number each second, he’d be damn bored.
“Godzilla” does not translate in Arabic as “Allahzilla.”
The Eskimos have over a hundred words for “snow” but only about seven for “sandwich.”
If no one can decide what the meaning of the phrase “down to earth” is, then it is actually “up in the air.”
In badminton, if the server is shot between the eyes with a high-powered sniper rifle, he is called “dead.”
The “F” word in Mexico is “frijoles.”
In 17th century London it was actually against the law to drive a Toyota Camry through the streets.
As a highschooler, Darth Maul was known as “Maul the Wall” due to his extraordinary abilities as a hockey goalie.
Penguins rarely eat McDonalds.
People who live in glass houses should not throw stones. But foam isn’t a problem.
Counting to ten backwards is the same as counting backwards to ten (there is no such thing as counting “sideways”).
Rene Descartes thought, therefore he was. This didn’t work for Markie Mark.
If your arms fall off, you can’t pick them up.
Few know, still fewer care: dog food is made from cows' naughty bits.
Hair and fingernails continue to grow even after death, but it is illegal to get a perm after embalming.
If you laid every pubic hair in the world end to end, it would be pretty damn disgusting.
The arms race involved a few feet as well.
A secretary who dips her fingertips in lavender oil can type up to 56% faster. This does not work for stenographers, however.
Refrigerators made out of rubber are illegal in Denmark.
Half of the population of Sweden were born virgins.
Good Friday was actually pretty lousy for some.
Eggplant is called that because it doesn't look enough like bacon to be called "baconplant."
Ironically, dynamite is ineffective on peanut brittle.