I, on the other hand, can believe it's butter.
The molecular weight of sugar is responsible for the letters in a bowl of Alphabits cereal clumping in groups of seven. This makes it virtually impossible to spell four-letter words in a full bowl.
"Motorcycle" is the only ten letter word that has two tires.
A stitch in time saves nine. But a stitch in thyme saves about 12.
Amongst the crimes for which Socrates was condemned: uncontrollable nosehairs.
Hands across America involved 2,396,548 people. 5 were named Ethel.
Dogs can sleep while hang-gliding.
While Washington DC is the Murder Capital of the World, Wichita KS is the world's "Murphy Brown Fan Club" capitol.
Actually, it is quite difficult for the average person to tell shit form real shinola.
The perfect pocket of change is 97 cents.
The colon in an expression of time, such as 10:10 is actually incorrect; it should be a semi-colon.
Nothing can stop the Duke of Earl. The Earl of Duke, however, is a wimp.
Sharks’ brains taste exactly like their eyes.
After a careful deconstruction of his diary, students at Purdue determined that Al Capone's favorite movie in 1993 would have been Sister Act II. What makes this especially incredible is that Sister Act II did not come out until 1994.
A golf ball dropped into a glass of clean water emits no odor.
"Seaweed" is the only form of algae that can be typed with the left hand only.
Richard Gere knows Tae Kwon Do, but will only perform Karate in films.
Coincidentally, chicken, too, tastes like chicken.
A goldfish can get alzheimers, reducing it's memory span from three seconds to about half a second. However, unlike humans with severe mental disorders, goldfish don't drool.
The longest syllable in the English language is "ummmmmmmmmmmmetc."
Paper is microwave safe.
Nothing can break the speed of light. But Dwight Giamitri of the Oskosh Transit has been known to bend it, and Franklin Smoby of the Bakersfield Pumas once gave it a nasty bruise.
The Toronto Blue Jays are actually a shade of very pale green.
In Russian, "Bert" and "Ernie" are synonyms.

Gumby's remains were consecrated
in a Mexican church in 1974.
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Doctor C. Everett Koop, previously Surgeon General of the USA, knows Kevin Bacon personally.
All the penguins in the Blair Witch Project are actually a kind of kiwi.
Pez is not just for breakfast anymore.
Ringo Starr's mother was "Miss Alabama 1938" without being told of the honor until 1944.
It is impossible to spell "railroad cars" without any "r"s.
A game of baseball originally consisted of 23 innings, but was reduced to 9 when 17 people died of boredom at the first game.
Contrary to popular belief, "Honest" Abe never sold used cars.
Donald Duck had three other nephews besides Huey Louey and Dewey: Smacky, Nigel, and "Nancy."
Pregnancy has led to more childbirths than any other condition.
Dances With Wolves and Waterworld and The Postman grossed together at the box office almost as much money as the Blair Witch Project took to make.
The average peach pit weighs the same as any other average peach pit.
A mule is the sterile offspring of a horse and a donkey. The sterile offspring of a horse and a cow is just sad.
The letters in "Texas School" can be rearranged to spell "Sex At School."
An apple a day keep the doctor away. An onion a day keeps everyone away. A pork chop a day is useless, but tasty.
Only one word in the English language begins ODAL: odalisque.
Before it was Hints from Heloise, it was called Ida's Ideas, Suggestions by Sally, and Check This Shit Out by Charlene.
A cat's sense of smell cannot detect marzipan.
On October 13th, 1976, Navy SEALs invaded Canada and planted a United States flag. Canadians are now secretly American. (Don't tell any of them).
If an ostrich and an emu got into a fight, many people would laugh.
Tigers and leopards are not naturally enemies despite the clash of their fur.
The bible commands: "Love thy neighbor." Often, this works best with mashed potatoes.
Nebraska is the third largest state out of Alabama, Arizona, and Nebraska.
A female dragonfly is called a damselfly. They have no pancreas.
Dimes have the same width as bologna in New Mexico delis.
On the five dollar bill, Lincoln's portrait blocks one's view of his brother, Terry Lincoln.

Egyptian Hieroglyphic Predicted the Rise of "Hanson."
It is impossible to sleep with your elbow in your ear. Try it.
No known piano makers use squid skin to line the sound chamber.
In England, "glue" is spelled the same as in America.
There is no such thing as the fountain of youth, although Wayne Cartwright of Little Bend, SD, claims to possess a “pool of puberty.”
Technically, the Wizard of Oz is really a "Thauturmagist."
Yoda and Chewbacca are distant cousins.
Raymond Smullyan, famed for his work in logic and his books about Göodel’s incompleteness Theorem, snores.
The “push-up” bra is not an acceptable substitute when a drill sargent orders a new recruit to “drop and give me twenty!”
Pudding is to pregnacy what porcupines are to- can you guess? That’s right: pantyhose.
The deli sandwich most preferred by workers during the industrial revolution: egg salad.
The Arab conquest of Byzantium occured in 641 AD.
Napolean’s tattoo of a New York strip steak incorrectly places a rib-eye in the upper-left portion of the meat.
Seeing-eye dogs and even hearing-ear dogs exist in abundance, although there are only a few smelling-nose dogs, and only one touching-paw dog. All dogs are licking-tongue doggies!
An owl’s nostrils are shaped like pears.
The frog’s greatest contribution to science has been the “ribbit” theory of quantum mechanics.
We do not know when William Shakespeare was born, but we are fairly sure it was somewhat messy.
Elvis, when dancing, often generated 3T milli-ergs of dynamic “focus-push static” in his right hip. His left was unmeasurable.
Bach may not have written the "Toccata and Fugue in D minor" in D minor.
One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready and four to smell like teen spirit, actually.
Most of the Hilpo Tribe of Necker, Idaho, have toes.
“Toch en Spriraalvormig min Naar de Voeteneinde” is bad Dutch for “Therefore and Spiral love the Foot.”
Spilled Seafood Salad is safe up to three days later, but dropped is only safe for one.
Douglas Adams never really cared that 6 times 9 in base 13 is 42.
"Kleenex" made of lint-free chamois is called "Kleenernex."
Obi-Wan Kenobi and Yassir Arafat share one common beard-trimming technique: up and out, left to right, moustache last (this makes the hair bristly but soft).

A robot made of cream cheese
attacked two people and then
rewrote the Kansas state
constitution on a Sunday
in July in 1992.
Pebbles Flintstone was a breech birth (episode #12). Bam-Bam was cesarian (#17).
Green jello was at one time made green by using spoiled flea carcass (the carcass of the siphonoptera odulious is deadly, but using siphonoptera didacticus is quite safe).
Monopoly money is legal tender in Baden Baden, Deutchland.
The Hawaiian alphabet has 12 letters, seven of which are the letter “k.”
A man’s eyes will regrow almost twice as a fast as woman’s, a woman’s ear twice as fast as a man’s; noses are neck-and-neck.
Chen Lo, of Hong Kong, PRoC, once sold five Roll’s Royce’s in one day at the Aufburgen-Lung dealership on 38th and Majesty. The catch: he doesn’t even work there.
Frostbite in Alaska is called "toes-no-more." In Hawaii it’s called "frostbitten."
5 North Americas would fit into the space of 1 Africa, if folding is allowed.
Barbie has only four toes: two large weird ones on each foot. Check the bones if you’re easily fooled.
Two dogs, tied together, cost less than when sold separately.
It is not illegal to have sex in an airplane while in flight; it is, however, to pay for it.
Intelligence is measured on the Geranimo Scale, in Hankie units (Ha).
Chinese children under the age of nine range from zero to eight years old.
Pope spelled incorrectly is Salmon.
Mark Twain’s real name, Samuel Clemens, and his clown name, Happy Sausages, were both given to him by his grandmother and ringmaster, Martha “Floppy Shoes” Clemens.
San Francisco is know for three things: rice (a roni) cable (cars) and homo (nucleus cell research).
The queens in a standard deck of cards represent the only first ladies in the United States with faces flat enough to press, silly-putty style, into wet paper.
Pi (3.15159265358979323846264338327950...) divided by 3 is still impossible to memorize completely.
"Hershey’s Kisses" are called that because "Hershey’s Karate Chops to the Taste Buds!" is already copyrighted by the David Hershey Dianetic’s College.
No national highway in the US (represented by two-digit numbers) is allowed to contain more than 3 parts per billion in pure gold.
"Jeep," coincidentally, is the Corsican nickname for a small, broken, vase.
The QEII, a cruise liner, if crunched up like a piece of paper into a wad, would require a basket the size of San Jose State University’s Sweeney Hall.
No NFL team which plays it’s games in a domed stadium has ever been nuked by the ruskies.
Major League Baseball, based on the game invented by Genghis Khan, was originally going to be known as “behead and laugh about it” in Khan’s honor.
The nursery rhyme Hickory Dickory dock is an allegory for the failed election campaign of Hugh “Doritt” McPhearson, running against Joseph Kepple for the second district county seat of Holcomb, Mississippi.
Reception for satellites works best in December.