It is theorized that an evolutionary divergence must have occured in the caucus regions, since race memories result in Kazatskies choreographing all dances as if they had three legs.
Before the roll-bar, Mark Twain had to use a suite of typewriters-- moving from one to the next while secretataries used screwdrivers to change the pages in the used typewriters.
It is illegal to transport eggs over a railroad track in Belgium.
“Aerotypography” is the method of laying pages in a newspaper so that you can still read the articles after folding the paper into a paper airplane.
“Old Wilburforce,” a slot machine in Las Vegas, was pulled in 1974 and is still spinning. The “Peto Casino” has agreed to pay interest if the player wins.
A one-armed soldier does not have to salute-- even if the remaining arm is the saluting arm.
Chinese scrabble sets come in 2-ton crates.
Wood burning stove: yes. Hedhehog burning stove: no.
In Madagascar, where horse racing is illegal, the fourth-place finisher is the “caught” bet, since authorities can only arrest jockeys during the actual act of racing.
Priceless fakes exist, and aren’t, really.
Florence, Italy, from which we get Florida, USA, taxes eyebrows.
Janice Joplin’s false front teeth were laced with asphalt from Street Boulevard in Joplin, Missouri, hence her surname.
Lesser known is Jane Erin Go Bragh,” a romantic novel set in funny old Ireland.
If the Mona Lisa had been painted “actual size,” it would have required a palace four times the size of the Louvre to house it.
The so-called "Black-Sea Scrawls" were proven to be nothing more than graffitti from 1963.
Ketchup makes an excellent copper cleaner.
By law, every Pub in London must be named The Red Lion. Fortunately, most of the metropolis of London is a collection of different cities; the “real” London has only one Pub, called “The White Unicorn.”
The best way to avoid punishment for lying is to not do it, unless you’re very tired and can’t “stand” it anymore.
"Ajar Jaw" preceeds "Lock Jaw"; Each is proceeded by "Born-in-A-Barn Jaw.
No two Trafalgar squares in London, England, are alike.
Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes fame is not real.
Knives get their “sharpness” (measured in Melbourne) from the relative width of the edge versus the back or “spine;” technically, the pyramids at Giza are four “Mlb” sharper than your average Swiss Army Knife blade number 14.
The 23 most popular first name in the world can each be traced to a Greek letter.
Edible tablecloths nevertheless must be placed on some sort of cottony surface to keep them from sticking to the table.
In order to thwart dice switching, croupiers in Las Vegas work roullette tables, since being a croupier has nothing to do with dice whatsoever.

Bicycles are impossible on Jupiter.
Elvis had more than 14 teeth.
Tarzan never took his SATs.
It is dangerous to mix traditions. In 1833, a tribe of rock worshippers in Newport, Italy, were shown a picture of newlyweds being pelted with rice after the ceremony. Three weddings later, the rock worshippers regretted that picture.
Jim Morrison is buried in "Cimetiere du Pere Lachaise" (Rocking Chair Cemetary), which is conveneint, owing to his death.
“Taxi-Cab” Calloway, a bean-switcher from Littlepuss, MS, once hit a gof ball over 300 yards, despite never having played golf before, and never playing since.
“Playing the piano is not a mime’s forte” is a pun in Italian.
in August of 2001, scientist at Lawrence Livermore Labs unveiled a new supercomputer capable of 12.3 trillion operations per second, making it possible to miscount the votes in the 2000 Presidential election nearly 6 trillion times per minute.
“Fish for Breakfast” was an actual brand name for a fire extinguisher in 1966.
Tony the Tiger was modeled off of a Bengel, but somehow ended up looking more Siberian.
In Iceland, where there are active volcanoes, jokes about magma are considered in poor taste.
Versions of Sleepy Hollow that have Ichabod Crane wielding an anti-aircraft missile launcher are historically inaccurate.
It is impossible for a clock to be wrong all the time, unless it runs perfectly- in which case it is impossible for it to be right-- unless it is the only clock.
Less succesful has been Hippo cigarettes.
Erotic surgery can be found in the Kama Suture.
The Wright brothers-- Orville and Wilbur, had a third brother, James, who was, oddly, a boatsmith. Actually, he was to each of them a second brother.
“Bullet Proof Bibles,” a band from Terra Haute, Indiana, once played an all-acoustic version of Mozart’s 40th Symphony for charity.
"Aethenoth the albino cyclops" is probably one of the most obscure literary allusions ever made on purpose.
There were never cave men-- but perhaps cave “people.”
When purchasing a Rolls Royce, do not eschew the leather interior for vynil: it costs extra.
Due to a fluke in the wording, all jet fighters have to have room in the cockpit for a sousaphone.
Popeye, an only child, had four nephews. Pope Principalis, a virgin, had four sons. These four were not the same as Popeye’s nephews, however.
Truth: you can self-mummify your body by consuming roughly half your weight in twinkies seconds before death. Oddly, doing so would cause death, anyway.
Of the six gummi bears, only two are trully “gummy.”
Until the 1800s, tea was used as currency in Siberia, which made buying tea sort of pointless.
A cup that is half-full in Paris would be half-empty in New York, due to “evaporation.”

Green paint attracts lightning.
With enough duct tape, even a Stradivarius would make a decent bat, once.
The Nike swoosh was designed by some person with maybe a two-inch vertical.
As a joke, soldiers in the Crimea awarded each other the "Noble Peas" prize, for stoicly imbibing bad cooking-- this several years before the Nobel Prize was founded.
“She sells seashells by the old abandon warehouse” is also not so easy to say quickly.
Canada only borders one country.
“Gorgeous” George Seurat, also known as “Sexy” Seurat and “La Grande Jatte-Mon,” was still an ineffectual pro wrestler.
Canadian coins are shaped to resemble a “circle” or “disc.”
No two issues of the Yale Daily News have been the same since 1878.
Although not from Africa, the Hardy Boys nevertheless had heard of it.
Maps are made by cartographers, dances by choreographers, tunnel music by goffer choirs, and textured pants by courderoy growers [sic].
Hammers are named by the National Hammer Institute, much like pedigree dogs, but usually just “hammer” or “tool.”
Pianos made of cream cheese rarely last as long as those made of more sturdy substances, and sound fairly worse, but are a hit at bagle factories.
Glass cracks have been known to exactly mimic plastic cracks, ice cracks, the cracks in marble if it’s not really marble but glass, and cracks in fake diamonds.
“The Queen’s Penis” was a typo that went unnoticed at the Boston Globe for three weeks straight.
Less well known than their auctions are Sotheby’s brists, though the same detailed catalogs are available.
“Girl Scouts” could also refer to people who scout for girls.
"Pennsylvania Dutch," a Norwegian card sharp from Ohio, was famous for his exploits at the horse races.
A compass that was built to point west was built by monks in 711, and soon ignored.
Jane Austen's only novel, the very lengthy “Pride and Sensibility,” was split into several different uniquely titled novels.
The capital of Kansas? Not Salina.
In French Canadian, “oil” is called “eu de terre,” which sounds remarkbly like “Odor-eater.”
Originally there was to be one ghost in Pac Man for each of the seven dwarves, but, unlike a large-bosomed teenage girl, a small yellow circle has a hard time handling that much responsibility, and three of the ghosts were dropped.
Contrary to popular belief, “Uzzah Today” was not the first newspaper of the Keepers of the Ark of the Covenant; neither was it a “mainstream, easily digestible, unleaven” newspaper.
It is important, during the roughly nine hundredths of a second in which the crunching part of an automible accident occurs, to not be singing “I Love You, You Love Me,” (the Barney song), as the particular muscle contractions necessary to hit the middle-A and pronounce “we’re” can augment the injuries received by up to 314%.
Of all the US coins with profiles facing right, fully 100% of them can be made to face the other way by turning the coin “upside down” such that it appears as if the figure is standing on his or her head.

Goofy's younger brother, Silly, somehow lacked Goofy's poise.
Funambulism, invented by the ancient Greeks, is remarkable in that no Greek funambulist has ever died while reciting Homer.
You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t transmogrify him into solid gold.
The "Jet Stream" is called that because Microsoft owns the copyright on “Windows 2000 Stream.”
No two Boeing 747 airliners can occupy the same space at the same time.
Cats made of bronze, silver, gold, bologna, platinum, ordinary plaster of paris, brass, and even “stone” can be found in the tombs of modern Egyptians as well.
Square bubbles are possible, though rarely do they get chicks.
Manuel Transmichoen, a member of the Basque Liberation Movement, does not actually own a car.
The modern piston engine differs from the original design by exactly one piston and the color of the fab-seven overplinth.
The word “safari” can be translated into over 2000 languages.
At midnight, technically, the clock should strike zero.
It is a not correct to say that it took settlers six months to reach the west coast between 1840 and 1850. In the first place, that span of time is ten years, not six months. Secondly, Alphonse Albertson, a baby catcher from Santa Cruz, CA, could make the journey in about 3 minutes. Finally, one can not “take” time. It belongs to all.
Female Helicopter Pilots nevertheless must wear the same “helmet” as male helicopter pilots, in those jurisdictions where a helmet is required (to date: none).
White light is all other colors of light combined. White Lightning is all other colors of moonshine combined. White Shine is all other colors of White Lightning combined.
Orange Jeans, not to be confused with the popular European potable "Orangina," can be sewed with either blue thread, or the more popular “navy” blue thread.
In Swaziland, man-hole covers are both called “Road Belly Buttons” and do not exist.
Bishop Claymore, Scottish Dean of High House Park Seminary for Boys, had only two hands.
To make something that is glow-in-the-dark not green, discover a way to make radioactivity different. Bet you can’t.
“Virgins” who have not engaged in “sexual” activity are considered “virginal.”
“Pause” lights, less ubiquitous than “Stop” lights, nevertheless let people “Go” just like their faux-named cousin.
Fifteen fifteenth anniversaries would be a quindecequindecium.
Remarkably, the shift from so-called “classical” music to so-called “romantic” music can best be explained by showing how songs can or cannot be rendered on a modern touch-tone telephone.
Aspirin works best in blood.
By the age of 19, Britney Spear had never suffered a heart attack before noon, despite the morning being the most likely time for a heart attack to occur.
At some altitudes, a Ford Fairlane is more fuel-efficient that a turbo-jet powered aircraft.
Kelpies, known for their moisture, prefer a dryer Scotch.