Friday July 7th, 2006

Where's Tom Now?
Some court has decided that Tom DeLay has to remain on the ballot as a House rep from Texas, since he won the primary in March. Of course, Tom's mad, since he dropped out of the race in April, and resigned his seat in June. This, of course, following indictments for criminal charges linked to the Abramoff scandal. Y'all know Tom, right? (Yeah, me neither before a few weeks ago; thank you, Wikipedia). DeLay came to the House in 1984, rising through the Republican ranks from deputy whip to majority whip to majority leader. He was a big factor in getting Clinton impeached, and he's credited with corroding the separation of powers, turning the GOP-led congress into Bush's happy little lap dog. Now that's he's left office, he'll probably spend his remaining funds on legal fees, and he'll probably become a lobbyist, which, in a one-party congress, is the same thing as a privately owned congressman. At any rate, this court ruling means that either there will be a vote split in that congressional district, and a good chance for the Donkeys to take one back, or they won't run anyone against Democrat Nick Lampson.

Don't Mess With Texas
Speaking of gerrymandering (I forgot to mention, back in the day, shortly after he kicked the booze the and hot-tub hopping, Tommy gerrymandered a good portion of Texas to get more republicans elected), last week a judge shot down the Elephants' attempt at redistricting Texas in order to cut Latinos out of the vote. Goodness gracious. It just hasn't been a good coupla weeks for Texas. Well, native son and el presidente George Bush celebrated his 60th birthday yesterday. Can I call him a native son ig he wasn't born there and his family wasn't from there? I mean, he was governor, afterall, and he did lose lots and lots of Saudi money in failed oil wells. Nothing says "native" like losing foreign money, is all I'm saying.

Presidential Cruellers
Bush celebrated his birthday, by the way, by going to Dunkin Donuts. Seriously. Really, there was a report that he did this to show North Korea that their threat to do more missile tests were not worth getting too worried about. I am not making that up. Pundits say that NK is bluffing, that they are only threatening to do more tests to get us into a Battle of Wills. So Bush goes to Dunkin Donuts. Do I need to point out that this was the same man who read children's books for seven minutes after he'd heard about the initial 9/11 attack? All I'm saying is, send this man an Xbox 360, so he'll have something to do when the first H-Bomb drops in NYC.

Other Misc
While I have your attention: I wonder if NK's missile duds and Limbaugh's Viagra scandal are linked. I mean, they can't get their missiles up… you write the rest of the joke.

And I might as well mention that yesterday Mexico finally decided that the president will be the more conservative one. They had an election, it was very close, and of course contested, and no, I have no idea if Florida was somehow involved. I am only mentioning it now in case it comes up again later. Friends, I am new at this, and for me, the domestic politics is Herculean enough. International politics right now is basically Iraq, until I get my act together. Which may take a while.

Oh, right. Almost forgot. New York and Georgia courts, yesterday, both reiterated their stance against same-sex marriage. Two years ago Georgia voters approved of same-sex marriage, but the courts said no. And same in New York, with the courts saying same-sex marriage is illegal. This issue has been beat to death, so here's my nightstick: why does the government need to know what any citizen's gender is at all, I wanna know. Why does the government need to know what I have in my underwear? I sound like the pro-choicers now. Keep your hands—and your eyes—off of my body.