Friday July 28th, 2006

The Prostitute-Politician Analogy
Walking the other day, talking about politicians, came up with the following analogy. A politician is someone who is supposed to see to the will of the people. Its like going into a brothel, and asking for a prostitute, and so they bring out a man. And the john says no, I want a woman, and the politicians says, this is a woman. And the john says no it's not! So the politicians says "you're right!" and puts a wig and some lipstick on the man, and says, there you go! "But it's still a man!" So the politician hits the john on the head with a b illy-club, and when the john comes-to, and says, what happened? The politician says, you passed out. Here's the prostitute you wanted! And the john says, but, wait, that looks the same man, but with a dress on, and the politicians hits the john again. Finally he wakes up, and the politician says are you okay? Here's that prostitute you wanted, the one you picked out for yourself, from a selection of hundreds. And the guy limps off with the man-prostitute, and the politician, for good measure, adds on a billy-club surcharge to the bill.

Raise The Minimum Wage, Congress! You'll Have More to Tax!
Congress is about to go on vacation for five weeks, but before they do, they want to have a few emergency sessions about minimum wage. They want to raise minimum wage! Really, they do! It's been ten years, and the want to lift minimum wage from 5 something to 7 something. Over the course of three years. And they want to get this taken care of NOW, darn it. Umm… didn’t they try this a few weeks ago? And failed? So why the rush now? Because, it's simple-- they are attaching an elimination of estate taxes to the same bill. That's right-- poor folk can get a raise, as long as rich folks don’t have to pay taxes. For those of you keeping score, this is what is known as a "poison pill." So why the rush? Basically, the rightliest of the right wingers are trying to provide some near-election coverage for the more moderate republicans. Now they can go their swing-states and say Hey! I voted for an increase to the minimum wage! Vote for me! Keep the Republican majority in congress! They can ALSO get backing from rich folks, since they supported a death to the death tax.

Now, we already know that Bush has used his executive privilege to pen signing statements, refusing to enforce the estate tax. So politics is the only reason to do all this, and there will not be an increase in the minimum wage. Is that so bad? Consider this: You can go into McDonald's and order a meal that costs more than the hourly wage of the person who served it to you. And he'll get it out to you in about 2 minutes. The reason it takes so long is that he's helping 5 other people at the same time-- very roughly speaking, he's earning his wage for the hour every 24 seconds. Let's just round that up to 30. That means McDonald's is making a profit off every employee for every 59 minutes and 30 seconds he works.

Yes, I know that's an oversimplification. But at the current minimum wage, that employee makes a little over $10k per year. McDonald's reported a profit of $2.6 billion, with revenues of 20.4 billion. That's an operating expense of a little less than 18 billion. Do you know how many people could work for McD's at 10k a year, if they had 18 billion to spend? 18 Million people. But McD's employs less than 500 thousand people. Where did the other 3600% of the money go? If they doubled the salary for the minimum wage workers, they'd only have to account for the 1800% extra money. I'm fine with that. How about you?

And just to tie this all together- when the people who's income accounts for that extra 3600% give their money to their kids, congress wants to make sure none of it gets taxed. And when the guy who worked his whole life for that minimum wage wants to leave something for his kids, congress has already made sure they get half.

Talk to Your Enemies
I've avoided talking about Condi Rice's sashay through the Middle East because it seemed to be nothing coming of nothing. I have not avoided it completely, and today I heard something that gave me reason to bring it up again. Some radio pundits where comparing the Condster to James Baker and Henry Kissinger. One of them even declared that Kissinger was a war criminal. But no matter how much you disagree with them, at least they talked to the enemy. At least there was an actual phone which connected the white house with the Kremlin. Condoleeza comes along and says "We don't talk to terrorists. Or their supporters. Or the countries that share their faith. Or the people who don't immediately start waving the American Flag when we say their neighbor has done awful things." This, too, seems to be the problem that congress has with UN hopeful John Bolton-- he doesn't seem to have gotten any kind of accord or collusion among the nations during his temporary appointment at the UN. So whaddaya going to do? It's the do-nots leading the care-nots in a war with the have-nots over the need-nots.

Bush Gropes Germany
More sad than the fact of this story is that hearing about in passing last week, I was still able to Google exactly that phrase and get plenty of hits. At the G8 summit, during talks, Bush spontaneously walked over to where Germany's Chancellor Angela Merkel was sitting and gave her a shoulder rub. Please, reader, say you've seen "Arrested Development," and remember the back rubs Buster would try to give people in the first season. That's what the leaders of the free world are up against when Georgie is around. Art imitates life? Life imitates art? Are nightmares really nightmares when you can't help but laugh?

Forgive Me for Proselytizing
Today a man walked into the Jewish Federation of Greater Seattle building and started shooting. He killed 1 woman and wounded 5 others. He said they shooting was motivated by his anger with Israel. He said he was a Muslim American, and he wanted American weapons out of Israel. This is truly tragic, and now I am going to take the time to say some things that may be a bit controversial.

That man was not Muslim. Oh, he can call himself that. But he's not Muslim. He can pray to Allah five times a day, he can go to Mosque, but he is not Muslim. There is nothing, absolutely nothing in their holy book which says that to BE a Muslim, one must shoot innocent women. The terrorists who flew planes into the twin towers where not Muslim. The men who bombed commuter trains in Bombay where not Muslim either. And it’s time to stop identifying them as such. Take the journalists route, the lawyers route, call them alleged Muslims, or say that they claim to be Muslims… but do not grant them an identity that has nothing whatsoever with the heinous acts they committed.

I feel bad for those woman, and their families and friends. But right now I feel worse for the real Muslims in this city who live in fear of retribution for the next several weeks. I feel bad for the children who will be told a Muslim shot a Jew… and will be told its all because of a war on the other side of the planet. I feel bad for Jews who are angry right now.

I'll I'm saying is: when you commit an act of violence against someone, you cease to be a human being, and all that entails.