Tuesday August 8th, 2006

Abramoffitis Claims Another Victim
Another Republican has fallen to the dread disease scandal; this time it's Bob Ney who won't be running again for his Senate seat. The supreme court dismissed an appeal to get Delay off the ballot in Texas, but Dey managed to get out before he would have been required to stay on the ballot in Ohio. That gives the Republicans about 3 months to groom and front a player against the dems who've been running Zach Space for a while now. Up first is a state Senator, Joy Padgett, once a teacher. Yes, that's right, a woman, a teacher, a Republican. As for Abramoffitis, the question us, who's next? Could be Conrad Burns, from Montana, who's slipping in the polls.

Lebanon Wants to Play
Lebanon says they will take care of Hezbollah, if Israel gets out. Israel says they won't leave until peacekeeping forces (read: UN) comes in first. Bush and Condi say that the heat in Texas is really bad, so sure, let's have the biggest press conference we've ever had from the Bush ranch. Lebanon says we'll deploy troops to the southern border if Isreal would just please go away. Israel says we have to push these guys back until their missiles can't reach us anymore. Bush and Rice say that peace takes time, you know, and diplomacy doesn't happen overnight. Lebanon says some more of us got killed overnight. Israel says we lost a forest overnight. Bush and C'leeza say we talked to Tony Blair, and that French guy, and that Lebanese fella was in the room, and someone probably talked to him, so, let's just take our time. Lebanon says Hezbollah has been providing humanitarian aide to bombing victims. Israel says we want those two soldiers back. Bush and Conrice say we'll let the UN sort it out. AntiPundit.com says Freedom of Speech is nice, but when to does the world get Freedom from speech?

Walmart to Raise Salaries
First of all, I think it's either hilarious or telling that they are calling them "salaries." Walmart announced that, in order to stay competitive, they'll raise 1/3 of salaries nation-wide by six percent. Going off Walmart's claim that their average employee receives 10 bucks an hour, that's a sixty-cent raise, or less than 5 bucks a day. Maybe it's a just a pre-emptive move in the face of a possible minimum wage hike. Maybe it's another union-busting move, since, afterall, 2/3 of the employees won't get that raise at all... which ones get it, which ones don't? Ever watch hungry dogs fight over scraps? The only good news is that, apparently there are other jobs out there that Walmart competes with to retain workers, so maybe there is some small hope for these people.

Forget the Water; It’s the Cola That'll Kill Ya
You travel abroad, say to India. You carefully avoid drinking the water because even if you do like to sit and read 8 or 9 newspapers at a stretch, in India toiletry is known for giving people killer hamstrings from all the squatting. Then one day they're out of imported bottled water, so you indulge yourself with a soda-pop, and along with the souvenirs and photographs you take back home, you also manage to take back a nice case of the cancer. But hey, you can get that stellar Western medical treatment. In India the residents are not so lucky. Apparently they're alleging that Coke and Pepsi have been using contaminated ground water, and the sodas there are laced with pesticides. Of course Pepsi and Coke deny the allegations, and even go so far as to claim their colas are some of the safest stuff to drink in India. Uh, just cause it's the safest doesn't mean it's safe. It'll make for interesting international debate, anyway. "Fast food made me fat!" claims large man from Iowa. "Fast food gave my kids leukemia!" retorts man from Bombay. Etc.

Charles Rangel Out if Dems Don't Win Majority
Last week Charles Rangel announced that if Democrats don't win a majority in Congress this November, he would quit altogether. Chuck's been in the house for New York since 1971, and is in line to be on the Ways & Means committee... so I guess he's going to put on his party-pooper face, and leave if they won't let him play anymore. Chuck's not afraid of getting his hands dirty-- he's been arrested a few times in protests, usually related to civil and human rights issues. So one wonders why he's going to "cut and run" if the Dems don’t take the House. One wonders what his message is, since politicians only ever say things as part of a play for influence. Is this supposed to get GoPs lathered up about a different man for Ways & Means? Is he using a desire for retirement in a bid to get 'Publicans to show their hands? It's yet another game played in the press, I guess. Good luck with that-- when I Googled "Charles Rangel" I got one first-page hit that mentioned this issue, and the HTML didn't function properly in my browser of choice.

101 People Who Are Really Screwing America
I recently finished Jack Huberman's "riposte" to Bernard Goldberg (#73)'s 100 People Who Are Screwing Up America (reviewed July 26th, 2006). It'll be difficult not to compare the two, so why bother avoiding it. I was wrong when I guessed that Huberman's book would be as watery as Goldberg's: it's meaty, and almost any entry could be ripped from the book and carried about as a reference sheet for talking points in a debate. Whereas Goldberg would have you identify his list with bad trends in America, Huberman points out the actual malfeasance his list's denizens have perpetrated on the USA and the world.

There are a few misses, in my opinion. J.K. Rowling? Dan Brown? Mel Gibson? I'm as big a pig for celebrity gossip as the next guy, but I don't think they contribute anything to politcal debate. And even bad writing is still better than Grand Theft Auto, if only in terms of developing an appreciation of literature. But those Goldbergian misses are all near the top of the list, and as we approach the bottom, it's all the people you expect: Bush, Rice, Rumsfeld, Rove (as in the other review I won't say who #1 is, but you can probably guess, if only by omission on my part). That's a bit of the ol' preaching to the choir, and so the best parts of the list are the people in the middle, the ones you may have heard of, may not, but should come to know for their part in America's going to the class-divided dogs. People like James Inhofe (who claims global warming is a hoax), John D. Graham (who wants to deregulate everything), J. Dennis Hastert (too busy eating at lobbyist feasts to extend the 9/11 commission) and Lowry Mays (who thinks radio is for the right wing agenda only).

There's some "provocative" (read: "cute") entries as well, such as Cell Phone Users, God, The Average American, and Democrat Pussies. You can take from them what you like, though really I think they're just supposed to be pacing measures, showing more the effect of a screwed-up American than the affect. But in the end, I give the book four stars, three for being entertaining, plus one for being useful. Not a "must" read, but a "should" read for anyone except those already well in-the-know on our current cultural-political landscape.