{"id":1136,"date":"2015-01-19T11:04:35","date_gmt":"2015-01-19T19:04:35","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/?p=1136"},"modified":"2015-05-08T11:06:17","modified_gmt":"2015-05-08T18:06:17","slug":"robert-palmer-never-took-ephedrine","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/2015\/01\/19\/robert-palmer-never-took-ephedrine\/","title":{"rendered":"Robert Palmer Never Took Ephedrine"},"content":{"rendered":"

Postaday for January 19th: Re-springing Your Step<\/a>.\u00a0<\/strong>Tell us about the last experience you had that left you feeling fresh, energized, and rejuvenated. What was it that had such a positive effect on you?<\/em><\/p>\n

So this one time I had a really bad head cold. Or flu or pneumonia or some crazy illness. Could have been rickets for all I know. Please send me a Vine that describes what the hell rickets is. Is that the one from not eating limes? I don\u2019t know.<\/p>\n

At the time I lived about half a mile away from the mall, as the crows flies. Unfortunately for me, the crow flies over a highway and a community college. If I wanted to go to the mall, I had to walk a mile or so.<\/p>\n

On that day, I did. Stuffed nose, fever, congestion, body aches. My eyes felt like they were full of hot sand. My hands felt puffy. My lower back hurt. I put on jeans and a shirt and another shirt and a sweater and a scarf and a hat. I think I may have passed out for a few minutes when I tried to put on my thick socks.<\/p>\n

And then I stepped out into the rain. More of an irritating drizzle, really. I trudged my way to the mall. That day, if I recall, I\u2019d decided to see if going south first and then north was the same distance as walking north first. For the record: it wasn\u2019t. It was longer. And there were more hills.<\/p>\n

But I made it to the mall and wandered around until I remembered WHY I was there (to eat lunch) and WHERE the food court was (the south end. This mall has only one hall, so finding things is a simple as walking from one end to other).<\/p>\n

Before I ate, I stopped at GNC and bought some pills. These were, specifically, weight loss pills. Back then there were legal. Then they were made illegal because some idiot swallowed a bottle of them, drank a half a case of beer, got into a car wreck, and died. They blamed the pills. Not the alcohol, not the blunt-force trauma to his head. The pills. Later, they legalized them again, but the damage was done, and no one sells them anymore.<\/p>\n

But back then they did and I got some and took the recommended dosage. I had taken them before, knew what the dosage was, and had no intention of taking too many. I went to lunch, tacos, I think.<\/p>\n

Then I got bored and decided to walk home. Here\u2019s the thing\u2014 those pills? They do something to histamines. I don\u2019t know what it is. They\u2019re not anti-histamines per se, but let me tell you something\u2014 halfway home, they kicked in.<\/p>\n

Every ache and pain went away. My nose cleared up. My eyes cleared up. I had a bounce in my step. I got home, and fired up the Playstation. Played Dance Dance Revolutions for hours. Sweated all that sickness out of myself.<\/p>\n

And that\u2019s its. There\u2019s no moral to this story, no ironic ending. I sometimes miss those pills, but not too often. The last time I can remember feeling fresh, energized, and rejuvenated was in 2005.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Postaday for January 19th: Re-springing Your Step.\u00a0Tell us about the last experience you had that left you feeling fresh, energized, and rejuvenated. What was it that had such a positive effect on you? So this one time I had a really bad head cold. Or flu or pneumonia or some crazy illness. Could have been … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “Robert Palmer Never Took Ephedrine”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[61],"tags":[116,117],"class_list":["post-1136","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-postaday","tag-flu","tag-pills"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p24y52-ik","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1136","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1136"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1136\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1137,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1136\/revisions\/1137"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1136"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1136"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1136"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}