{"id":1301,"date":"2015-05-15T13:00:43","date_gmt":"2015-05-15T20:00:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/?p=1301"},"modified":"2015-05-21T09:01:35","modified_gmt":"2015-05-21T16:01:35","slug":"i-hate-you-but-not-really","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/2015\/05\/15\/i-hate-you-but-not-really\/","title":{"rendered":"I Hate You. But Not Really."},"content":{"rendered":"

Postaday for May 15th: Green-Eyed Monster<\/a>.\u00a0<\/strong>Write an anonymous letter to someone you\u2019re jealous of.<\/em><\/p>\n

Dear So and So (I forgot your name, sorry).<\/p>\n

I\u2019m a pretty good writer. But you\u2019re a better guitar player. If I was rated a 5 on a scale of one to ten for writing, your guitar playing would be a 10. If I was rated a 7, your ability to play would be a 12. If I was somehow granted a 9 on that scale, your facility for just picking up anything with strings and making it holler would be a 19. And I hate you.<\/p>\n

Okay I don\u2019t really hate you. I met you at my cousin\u2019s bachelor party. You were some guy he knew back in the day when he was a rock and roll star. Back then, you guys would play music and drink and do drugs and get laid and do pretty much everything I wasn\u2019t doing while I got on with my life. Not cause I chose to, but because I couldn\u2019t do anything else. I can\u2019t hold my liquor and drugs terrify me and mine\u2019s not the type of essence that makes the ladies eager. But hey I\u2019m not complaining. Not about that.<\/p>\n

I\u2019m not jealous of all the fun you guys had. Not at all. I swear to God I\u2019m not. I\u2019ve got a good life over here. Listen to me, you little shit. I am not jealous of the things those magic fingers bought you. I\u2019m jealous of the fingers and the fingers alone. This is the truth. In fact, if I had fingers like that, I\u2019d have no time for sex and drugs. Just rock n roll.<\/p>\n

Is that why I don\u2019t remember your name? Why you were at the bachelor party, but not the wedding? And people don\u2019t know where you are, if you have a job right now, a roof over your head, a warrant out for your arrest? Because all you do is play all the time? You pick up your guitar and just work the strings for a few hours and hum to yourself while the world spins and crashes and burns around you? Sign me up. That\u2019s what I want.<\/p>\n

I have music in my head all the time<\/em>. And I have no way to express it. I think maybe it\u2019s the opposite for you. I think maybe there\u2019s nothing in your head. Or at least not much. Look, I know I\u2019m no Mozart, but then neither are you. You\u2019re a guy with fabulous muscle memory. You\u2019re a guy for whom the logic and science of music has been hardwired into the very fibers that run from your brain to your fingertips. I guess I should take solace in that. If you\u2019re no Mozart, I don\u2019t have to be a Salieri.<\/p>\n

We hung out for a few days and I listened to you play and you were amazing. I asked you about bands and songs and albums and you sort of shrugged it all off like it was no big deal. No big deal!<\/em> You should be locked in a room, with nothing but bread and water and a pot to piss in and about a thousand digital tapes to record on. People who can do what you do don\u2019t get to shrug it off.<\/p>\n

Look, you were a really nice guy, actually, personable, good sense of humor, listened to my stupid jokes and responded with genuine laughter. All things considered, I think you deserved to do all that partying and womanizing back in the day. Somebody\u2019s go to, and it might as well be a decent fellow like yourself.<\/p>\n

But god damn it, I wish I\u2019d never met you. That\u2019s a lie too. I\u2019m lucky I got to see you in action. I hate you. You\u2019re amazing.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Postaday for May 15th: Green-Eyed Monster.\u00a0Write an anonymous letter to someone you\u2019re jealous of. Dear So and So (I forgot your name, sorry). I\u2019m a pretty good writer. But you\u2019re a better guitar player. If I was rated a 5 on a scale of one to ten for writing, your guitar playing would be a … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “I Hate You. But Not Really.”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[61],"tags":[194,39],"class_list":["post-1301","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-postaday","tag-guitar","tag-music"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p24y52-kZ","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1301","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1301"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1301\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1302,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1301\/revisions\/1302"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1301"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1301"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1301"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}