{"id":1321,"date":"2015-05-23T09:00:11","date_gmt":"2015-05-23T16:00:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/?p=1321"},"modified":"2015-05-22T13:59:45","modified_gmt":"2015-05-22T20:59:45","slug":"nablopomo-day-23-outside","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/2015\/05\/23\/nablopomo-day-23-outside\/","title":{"rendered":"NaBloPoMo Day 23: Outside"},"content":{"rendered":"

Today\u2019s NaBloPoMo Prompt:<\/strong> Free Write<\/em><\/p>\n

Big ol fat dude. Not really. That would be too easy. Be 300 pounds, lose 50 pounds, do it in a weekend, feel motherfuckin\u2019 triumphant. Or be 400 pounds, lose 100 pounds, do it on a Friday, beer n wings to celebrate. Life is sweet. Friends buy me new shirts. Old pants are a novelty; post before n after pics on god damn Instagram.<\/p>\n

But nope. Not that fat. Just a little fat. Fat enough. Got the gut, can suck it in, so if I do, then forget, the before n after pic\u2019s a sad one. There\u2019s poetry in failure, right? I\u2019m a limerick. There once was a dude in his forties. Who longed to be fit and play sporties. But those rough twenty pounds filled his poor ears with sounds of laughter when he wore those tight shorties.<\/p>\n

Not even a good limerick. Twenty damn pounds, that\u2019s it. At least there\u2019s a kind of panache in fighting those last ten pounds. There\u2019s books for losing those last ten pounds. There\u2019s fitness instructors in early 90\u2019s spandex with amazing hair who explain how hard it is to lose those last ten pounds. That\u2019s veteran-status suffering, friends. That\u2019s tragedy unto an existential scene in a drama comedy on HBO.<\/p>\n

But twenty? Slob. Put down the Coke, then, slob. Another night in front of the computer scooping spoonfuls of peanut butter into your gob, slob. Go to bed early, get up early, jog a few miles, eat a healthy breakfast. That\u2019s not working on the atomic bomb. That\u2019s basic human shit. If you can\u2019t do that, you probably can\u2019t vote right either. Your shirt fits a little snug because you\u2019re a horrible American. You\u2019ve only got one pair of jeans left and that\u2019s why our\u00a0country is going to hell. Thanks. Slob.<\/p>\n

At least I had a triumph today. A beer for breakfast. And one for lunch. Even if beer is fattening, it\u2019s not, not all by itself. Tequila for dinner, I think. I\u2019ll be skinny in no time. I\u2019ll stand next to 2004\u2019s Jessica Alba and say sweet things like \u201cDon\u2019t worry, you look just fine in that size.\u201d<\/p>\n

Today\u2019s NaBloPoMo Photo Prompt:<\/strong> Outside<\/em><\/p>\n

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A photo posted by Jason Edwards (@bukkhead)<\/a> on