{"id":1389,"date":"2015-06-03T13:00:17","date_gmt":"2015-06-03T20:00:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/?p=1389"},"modified":"2015-06-03T13:58:19","modified_gmt":"2015-06-03T20:58:19","slug":"you-could-say-im-a-yo-yo","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/2015\/06\/03\/you-could-say-im-a-yo-yo\/","title":{"rendered":"You Could Say I’m a Yo-Yo"},"content":{"rendered":"

Postaday for June 3rd:\u00a0Blogger With a Cause<\/a>.\u00a0<\/strong>If your day to day responsibilities were taken care of and you could throw yourself completely behind a cause, what would it be?<\/em><\/p>\n

Yep, I\u2019m a blogger without a cause. You can find me half-drunk and nearly passed-out on the side of that yellow brick road leading to the bloggosphere. Pick me up and haul me in. Doncha know police stations are just places to make friends with criminals? Dorothy\u2019s there in her red dress, and the cowardly lion too\u2014 later on, we\u2019ll give him courage, and it\u2019ll get him killed.<\/p>\n

Me, I\u2019m the new guy, the one you\u2019ve known all along. Call me scarecrow. Shun me for stepping all over the mascot. How was I supposed to know that big blue-and-white W was sacred? So let\u2019s go on up to the observatory, where the wicked witch lives, or should I say lived, since that house fell down on her. The sun\u2019s going to go supernova someday, you know. We\u2019ll all be dead long before then. Oz the great and terrible, expanding past all the inner planets. Maybe Jupiter will light up and Clark can write a book about it.<\/p>\n

Wanna dance? Fine, we\u2019ll dance. Not you, Dorothy, you had your chance. I\u2019m talking to your old man. Gimme a knife, I don\u2019t aim to knock your teeth in with my bloggy wit while you\u2019re distracted by my blood on your knife. Look at how my words cut and slice! And there, your blade is gone, you dumb punk. You rusted up tin-man. What\u2019s a metal head need chicken for anyway? I\u2019ll show you who\u2019s chicken. Steal us a few cars, we\u2019ll see who lasts longest driving through the poppies.<\/p>\n

Rev \u2018em up, rev \u2018em up! You want me to throw myself behind a cause? How about I throw myself out of this Porsche 550 Spyder while your tin-man parts get stuck inside your own ride. You\u2019re dead, tin-man, and we were barely friends. How am I supposed to get a brain when your heart\u2019s all splattered at the bottom of a cliff? At least Dorothy\u2019s still here. The cowardly\u2019s going up to the abandoned house; I\u2019m going to the cops.<\/p>\n

Because there\u2019s justice, there\u2019s fighting for what\u2019s right, there\u2019s standing up to the tornado\u2014 but first you got to fix yourself. Here\u2019s my cause: me. I need fixing. Both me and the whole planet, burned up when Oz goes boom\u2014 I can only fix one, might as well be the one who wastes his talents not writing all day. (How many words I got so far, now? 400? It’s stll nothin’.) But the cops, they won\u2019t listen. I tried. I\u2019ll take Dorothy to the abandoned house instead. Maybe Cowardly will be there.<\/p>\n

He is. Let the wicked witch\u2019s flying monkeys harass my parents, what do I care. Coupla munchkins, hobbits on the run, Sauren and George RR fill bookshelves, sure, but library stacks don\u2019t stop bullets like they used to. Me and Dorothy and Cowardly, we\u2019ll pretend this abandoned house is the Emerald City. That\u2019s easy, see. Didja know cats sleep 20 hours a day? Cowardly dozes like a good kitty. Me and Dorothy go exploring. I don\u2019t know what that\u2019s a metaphor for.<\/p>\n

Oh but here comes Cheetah the Moose. Did you know there\u2019s a whole Wikipedia page on flying monkeys? Cowardly, brave now, shoots one of them. Everything\u2019s all messed up. Stop shooting at me, Lion! Everything\u2019s animals. We\u2019re all running back to where we learned about Oz exploding. Here\u2019s the cause I\u2019d blog for: annihilating angst. A worthless cause, so I\u2019m without. But for now I can trade my own red jacket for Lion\u2019s ammo. Dumb cat.<\/p>\n

We go outside. Oh, NOW the cops pay attention. \u201cI got the bullets! Look!\u201d Cowardly\u2019s dead. He stood his ground. I\u2019m not going to take up that cause though. Dorothy clicks her heels together. Nothing happens. Because that was a terrible way to end a story.<\/p>\n

You think it’s a coincidence that James Dean and Albert Camus both died in car crashes?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Postaday for June 3rd:\u00a0Blogger With a Cause.\u00a0If your day to day responsibilities were taken care of and you could throw yourself completely behind a cause, what would it be? Yep, I\u2019m a blogger without a cause. You can find me half-drunk and nearly passed-out on the side of that yellow brick road leading to the … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “You Could Say I’m a Yo-Yo”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[8,61],"tags":[234,232,233,231],"class_list":["post-1389","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blogging","category-postaday","tag-blogging","tag-cause","tag-oz","tag-rebel"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p24y52-mp","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1389","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1389"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1389\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1390,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1389\/revisions\/1390"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1389"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1389"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1389"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}