{"id":1429,"date":"2015-06-11T14:00:34","date_gmt":"2015-06-11T21:00:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/?p=1429"},"modified":"2015-06-11T14:00:34","modified_gmt":"2015-06-11T21:00:34","slug":"im-already-tired-i-gotta-retire-too","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/2015\/06\/11\/im-already-tired-i-gotta-retire-too\/","title":{"rendered":"I’m Already Tired, I Gotta Retire Too?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Postaday for June 11th:\u00a0I Am a Rock<\/a>.\u00a0<\/strong>Is it easy for you to ask for help when you need it, or do you prefer to rely only on yourself? Why?<\/em><\/p>\n

I have talked to my therapist at length. No, I don\u2019t like asking people for help. Let\u2019s ask Dale.<\/p>\n

Hey, Dale. Turn off the TV for a second.<\/p>\n

Can\u2019t. Crudites are up by two, top of the eighth.<\/p>\n

Crudites?<\/p>\n

That\u2019s a baseball team you invented because you haven\u2019t decided where I live yet.<\/p>\n

I thought I made you a Mets fan.<\/p>\n

Did you? I don\u2019t remember that.<\/p>\n

Well, nevermind. Let me ask you a question.<\/p>\n

Go ahead. Damn it, Manless! You bum!<\/p>\n

Is it easy for you to ask people for help?<\/p>\n

Buck-o, I get on my knees every day and ask God to help Manless get cancer. Ace pitcher, my ass.<\/p>\n

No, but seriously. Like, do you ever ask Loretta for help.<\/p>\n

Uh, I don\u2019t know, do I? Every time you write about me, she ain\u2019t around.<\/p>\n

Well, now\u2019s your chance. Let\u2019s do some character building. Tell me about a time you asked Loretta for help.<\/p>\n

Damn it!<\/p>\n

Dale.<\/p>\n

Sorry. What do you want me to do?<\/p>\n

Was there ever a time when you needed Loretta to help you with something, like, when you had to check your machismo at the door and ask her to get you through an ordeal?<\/p>\n

You mean other than last week when Gonzales broke his ankle pinch hitting for Lopez?<\/p>\n

Well, that\u2019s not exactly\u2014<\/p>\n

\u2014Cause let me tell you, I was nearly in tears.<\/p>\n

Yeah, but, what about\u2014<\/p>\n

I\u2019m sitting right here, in this chair, and even the play-by-play guys got his mouth shut for a change, the camera zoomed in on Gonzales while we wait for the skipper to trot on out there. And you could see it, in his eyes, him thinking he\u2019s two years past retirement as it is, maybe he gets a place in Arizona, or Miami. And Loretta walks in, and she goes Dale, you\u2019re awful quiet, and I look at her, she ain\u2019t the gal she used to be, but she\u2019s still a decent broad, and I\u2019m just lookin\u2019 at her, like I\u2019m that damned manager, and this chair and my sunken chest and how my knees hurt when I get up in the morning and it takes longer to chew on a steak than it used to, and you can\u2019t smile at people on the bus causer they\u2019ll either mace ya or ask ya to sign some petition to save the baby seals from getting evicted, or whatever, and Loretta\u2019s not the kinda dame you ask to do menial things, I mean, I\u2019m the man of the house but I can get up to get my own beer, you know, but there I am, and there she is, and she\u2019s closer to the ice box anyway, so maybe this one time I ask her and she can hear it in my voice how sad I am, and maybe we have a moment, and it\u2019s nothing like when we were kids but it\u2019s something, and then later in the middle of the night she\u2019ll lean over and she\u2019ll whisper, let\u2019s move to Phoenix and I won\u2019t think it\u2019s a stupid idea this time, I\u2019ll think its her way of trying to take care of me, make sure I\u2019m okay.<\/p>\n

Uh, oh. Um. Yeah. So, uh\u2026 did you?<\/p>\n

Did I what?<\/p>\n

Ask her for the beer?<\/p>\n

Nah. She\u2019s my wife, not my maid.<\/p>\n

I see.<\/p>\n

Besides, I ask her to get me one, she starts counting them. I don\u2019t need that kinda help, do I, buck-o?<\/p>\n

No, I guess not.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Postaday for June 11th:\u00a0I Am a Rock.\u00a0Is it easy for you to ask for help when you need it, or do you prefer to rely only on yourself? Why? I have talked to my therapist at length. No, I don\u2019t like asking people for help. Let\u2019s ask Dale. Hey, Dale. Turn off the TV for … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “I’m Already Tired, I Gotta Retire Too?”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[61],"tags":[36,214],"class_list":["post-1429","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-postaday","tag-baseball","tag-dale"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p24y52-n3","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1429","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1429"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1429\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1430,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1429\/revisions\/1430"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1429"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1429"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1429"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}