{"id":1627,"date":"2016-03-20T12:49:15","date_gmt":"2016-03-20T19:49:15","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/?p=1627"},"modified":"2016-03-21T12:49:54","modified_gmt":"2016-03-21T19:49:54","slug":"the-baby-weighs-a-ton-today","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/2016\/03\/20\/the-baby-weighs-a-ton-today\/","title":{"rendered":"The Baby Weighs a Ton Today."},"content":{"rendered":"<p>The baby weighs a ton today.<\/p>\n<p>I don\u2019t mean literally, of course.<\/p>\n<p>The heaviest person of all time,<\/p>\n<p>Jon Minnoch, was 1400 pounds,<\/p>\n<p>And 35 years old, not 6 months.<\/p>\n<p>Still, if it would have been my job to<\/p>\n<p>Pick up Jon Minnoch, console him,<\/p>\n<p>Cool his feverish brow, pat his back,<\/p>\n<p>Wipe away the drool, coo in his ear,<\/p>\n<p>I probably would have had assistance.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The baby weighs a ton today. I don\u2019t mean literally, of course. The heaviest person of all time, Jon Minnoch, was 1400 pounds, And 35 years old, not 6 months. Still, if it would have been my job to Pick up Jon Minnoch, console him, Cool his feverish brow, pat his back, Wipe away the &hellip; <\/p>\n<p class=\"link-more\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/2016\/03\/20\/the-baby-weighs-a-ton-today\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\"> &#8220;The Baby Weighs a Ton Today.&#8221;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1627","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poetry"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p24y52-qf","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1627","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1627"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1627\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1628,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1627\/revisions\/1628"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1627"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1627"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1627"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}