{"id":2034,"date":"2020-05-01T09:10:01","date_gmt":"2020-05-01T16:10:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/?p=2034"},"modified":"2020-05-01T09:10:01","modified_gmt":"2020-05-01T16:10:01","slug":"reporting-on-instagram-posts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/2020\/05\/01\/reporting-on-instagram-posts\/","title":{"rendered":"“Reporting” on Instagram Posts"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

I read Google News every day. Mostly I read the \u201cFor You\u201d section. And what\u2019s great is how Google remembers which stories I click on, then populates the next day\u2019s offering with more of the same. For example, I clicked on a story about QE2 once a few months ago and now I get to see what England\u2019s Head Figure-Honcho is up to (today, she sent someone a birthday card<\/a>).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I guess I clicked on a link to a story about a scantily clad woman on Instagram once <\/s> several times, because I get more than a few of those on the daily. I\u2019m not ashamed of having clicked a link that said \u201cPenelope Pendulous Wows In Micro Bikini Festooned with Diamond Dust-Crusted Macaroni Noodles!\u201d I really like macaroni.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But they\u2019re always the same, these \u201cstories,\u201d and I guess this counts as journalism? 400 words that describes what some celebrity<\/a> I\u2019ve never heard of (cause I\u2019m almost 50) is wearing, followed by the picture being described\u2026 Listen, I know, it\u2019s my own fault. Probably instead shoulda clicked on that article about What The Queen Said To Her Dog (And It\u2019s Not What You Think!)<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Anyway, this morning as I sipped my Irish coffee (heavy on the Irish) and got caught up on the latest wearing of a see-through mesh espadrille I decided maybe instead of ridiculing this reportage, I should embrace it. In fact, I should write it. But since the scantily-clad female angle has already been covered, what I\u2019m going to take care of is the average Josephine angle.\u00a0 So here we go. Name changed just in a case more than one person reads this.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sandy Persephone Coos Confidence in Cornwall Casual<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Sandy Persephone metaphorically killed her followers today in a black-and-white striped T on top snug mom jeans. The raven-haired teenager who might actually be in her twenties struck a jaunty pose with one yellow-and-white checkered Vans shoe in front of the other, sans socks of course\u2014teenager or twenty-something, she sure as fartz isn\u2019t a Gen X-er clinging desperately to a mistaken sense of 90s fashion!\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The beauty from Brittania, who \u201clike[s] to document when [her] outfit consists of anything more than joggers\/old pyjama bottoms because it\u2019s such a rare occurrence these days\u201d wore her Levis-UK shirt tucked in to her Topshop denim, and posed for the mirror-selfie with one hand casually popped into a pocket, thumb-out style, while the other hand held aloft her oversized smart phone. Also on display, various shades-of-red nail polish, a rouge rainbow of sexy innocence.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure><\/div>\n\n\n\n

Sandy, head tilted to the side, cocked one eyebrow as she looked at herself on her mobile screen, and completed her l’arrangement-de-visage<\/em> with a contented grin. Her long and styled-straight tresses back-framed cherubic (this a compliment not a euphemism) cheeks. Although little skin was revealed, Sandy managed to keep an even complexion despite a global lock-down on outsidedness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

No make up was in evidence, and certainly none needed, save for a subtle shade of orange-ish pink on her lips, which may not have been lip-paint at all but just the lighting. Sandy\u2019s natural look perfectly balanced her choice to go without any noticeable accessories- neither watch nor bangle mangled the effortless grace of her appropriately-shaped wrists.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The fit female chose to pose in front of charmingly-decored divan, complete with Ikea IE duvet in rose (or salmon, maybe terracotta? Whatever, it matched her nails) and a splash of chaotic colors on a Primark throw pillow. Behind and above the bed on a dark blue wall, art prints in black and white from Desanio. The photo, taken as aforementioned via mirror, was composed with a third of the shot featuring the white wall on which the spotless mirror hung. Lighting was provided by outdoor sunshine wafting through translucent white curtains.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

The photo garnered over 300 likes in just an hour, about 100 times more than this reporter gets for his own Instagram posts.
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I read Google News every day. Mostly I read the \u201cFor You\u201d section. And what\u2019s great is how Google remembers which stories I click on, then populates the next day\u2019s offering with more of the same. For example, I clicked on a story about QE2 once a few months ago and now I get to … <\/p>\n

Continue reading ““Reporting” on Instagram Posts”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[10,18,272],"tags":[199,46],"class_list":["post-2034","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-opinion","category-photos","category-writing","tag-instagram","tag-parody"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p24y52-wO","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2034","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2034"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2034\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2036,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2034\/revisions\/2036"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2034"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2034"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2034"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}