Con call in half an hour and I just can\u2019t be bothered. Book to read, less than 50 pages to go, and I just can\u2019t be. Bothered. Just watched Weird Al\u2019s \u201cFat\u201d video, followed up with Michael Jackson\u2019s \u201cBad.\u201d Laughed the whole time I was watching the MJ. Not that it\u2019s a horrible video. Actually it\u2019s pretty darn good. Actually, and this might be the old man in me talking, it hearkens back to a day when music videos where a thing. I don\u2019t know if they\u2019re a thing anymore. Have not watched Mtv in years. I guess I do see things on Youtube, so maybe they\u2019re still a thing.<\/p>\n
Naw, I laughed the whole time because I had just watched the Weird Al version, and during the MJ I was only able to think of the WA lyrics. That happened the other day too: we were in the car, some new remix of Bad came on, and I was singing the Fat version throughout. Al Yankovis is a genius. It\u2019s been said before, it will be said again.<\/p>\n
But this is a rambling blog post about how I can\u2019t be bothered. Normally, in this mood, I\u2019d go to Reddit, or Pinterest, or Tumblr. Woe is you, I\u2019m writing instead. Already wrote two lengthy emails to friends this morning.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m STILL clicking on Facebook every ten seconds, but that\u2019s mostly megalomaniacal, since I like it when people respond to any content I generate. That\u2019s why I have everything linked to Facebook. I had a dream about Mark Z last night\u2014I was at some friend\u2019s wedding, in the hotel in the hours before it all got started. Mark Z was there, played by Justin Timberlake when he was still in N\u2019Synch, with that bleached hair with the tight curls. Except it was orange, and he had a black goatee.<\/p>\n
Meaningless, all dreams are meaningless, so I only mention it to entertain. Are you not entertained? Gladiator quote.<\/p>\n
Cause that\u2019s what most writers are, you know. Bloggers, self-incarcerated gladiators pitted against the soft-copper armor of their own ennui, their self-perceived inaquecies, and all of us desperate for that ironical insight that makes what we spew funny if not interesting.<\/p>\n
Me for example: I sure do spend a lot of time by myself. I’ve taken to talking to myself, or, if not to myself, to imaginary interlocutors, out loud. I even had a conversation with myself out loud about it today while making a sliced-turkey-and-lefotver-satay wrap:<\/p>\n
-Do you think I\u2019m stupid?
\n-Yes.
\n-What?
\n-Yes, I think you\u2019re stupid.
\n-Oh, you think you\u2019re smart, eh?
\n-Yes, I do. And I think you\u2019re stupid. Can we talk about something else, please?
\n-You\u2019d like that, wouldn\u2019t you?
\n-Hence my requesting it.
\n-What?
\n-And we\u2019re back to how stupid you are again. Brilliant.
\n-Yeah, you\u2019re the brilliant one.
\n-Your sarcasm is ill conceived I\u2019m afraid.
\n-What?
\n-Oh god I could use some illegal pharmaceuticals.<\/p><\/blockquote>\nNot that I\u2019d know what to do with them. Lately running a little too much and writing things no one reads has been my pharmaceutical, but for what, I don\u2019t know. I mean besides boredom. Lately, and I don\u2019t know why, I\u2019ve been in a really bad mood. I drive places, the radio is on, the Mariners are losing, some asshole in a Lexus is driving ten miles under the speed limit and so some other asshole in an Acura cuts in front of me to take an exit; meanwhile, I\u2019m thinking I need to change lanes but there\u2019s another asshole in a Prius sitting on my left rear bumper, talking on his cell phone, and then I notice the handicap sticker and I get even angrier because, handicap parking, grrr, don\u2019t get me started.<\/p>\n
What\u2019s the point of all this? I don\u2019t know. I don\u2019t have a thesis statement. Con call in 15 minutes, Pandora keeps playing ads at me whenever I skip songs that DO NOT FIT THE STATION I AM LISTENING TO and I don\u2019t feel like rereading this and editing it into making sense. Nothing makes sense. Nor does it have to. There, there\u2019s your furshlugginer<\/a> thesis statement.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Con call in half an hour and I just can\u2019t be bothered. Book to read, less than 50 pages to go, and I just can\u2019t be. Bothered. Just watched Weird Al\u2019s \u201cFat\u201d video, followed up with Michael Jackson\u2019s \u201cBad.\u201d Laughed the whole time I was watching the MJ. Not that it\u2019s a horrible video. Actually … <\/p>\n