{"id":454,"date":"2012-06-28T08:13:54","date_gmt":"2012-06-28T16:13:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/?p=454"},"modified":"2012-06-28T08:13:54","modified_gmt":"2012-06-28T16:13:54","slug":"you-are-the-experiment","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/2012\/06\/28\/you-are-the-experiment\/","title":{"rendered":"YOU Are the Experiment"},"content":{"rendered":"

fiction by Jason Edwards<\/em><\/p>\n

Chemistry 1-A at Dunmaru High is buzzing with the usual student chatter. Jenni Olmack\u2019s wearing that jacket everyone saw at Oldsen\u2019s, the one that cost like a gajillion dollars. Greg Tarkley and Michel Inbay are punching each other in the shoulder. Everyone\u2019s ignoring Lisa Besson because everyone always ignores Lisa Besson.<\/p>\n

Mr. Kilsome walks into the room, chanting \u201cAll right, all right, quiet down.\u201d Jenni glances over in time to see Greg mouthing exactly the same words, a big smile on his face. Nevertheless, the room quiets down. A few chairs squeak as students sit on their stools at their lab stations. Pots of powders, Bunsen burners, sinks, tongs, flasks and beakers. A school in a county that pays its taxes.<\/p>\n

\u201cAll right everyone, here\u2019s what we\u2019re going to do today,\u201d Mr. Kilsome says \u201cWe\u2019re going to synthesize a very strange chemical, one of the least understood chemicals in the world. For this one, though, you\u2019re going to need the heavy aprons.\u201d Mr. Kilsome takes off his coat and reaches for his own heavy leather apron. Half the students file to the closets in the back\u2014they\u2019d learned chem-lab protocol on day one, so no need for everyone to clump up around the closets.<\/p>\n

Lisa brings back an apron for Jenni, who takes it but otherwise ignores her. Greg brings one and throws it in Michael\u2019s face. It\u2019s heavy enough to smack him in the head. But Michael plays football, so there\u2019s no way an apron, of all things, is going to injure him. He puts on the apron, and remains standing\u2014the thing\u2019s too heavy to allow for sitting on the lab stools at all.<\/p>\n

\u201cGoggles, everyone,\u201d Mr, Kilsome says. The class obliges. \u201cGloves\u2026\u201d and everyone in the class pulls gloves from cubby holes at the lab tables. These are stiff, thick, heavy gloves. Soon the class, with the heavy gloves, thick aprons, and goggles, look like something from one of those weird 1950s German medical-horror movies.<\/p>\n

\u201cAlright. We\u2019ll start with mystery pot one. Open that, and measure out 35 ccs of the white powder into a flask. Be very very careful\u2014try not to inhale too close to the flask when you pour it in.<\/p>\n

A few students glance around, a bit nervous. Greg and Michael fight for a second over who holds the flask and who holds the measuring spoons. Jenni stands back, arms folded awkwardly in the gloves, while Lisa does all the work.<\/p>\n

\u201cGood, excellent. Now, close mystery pot one\u2014tightly! And open number two. Measure out 15 ccs into the flask. And whatever you do, do NOT shake the flask. Please, class, be careful.\u201d<\/p>\n

Lisa proceeds, hands shaking slightly. Murmurs from some in the classroom, but not as many as usual, a nervous silence. Greg and Michael, big stupid grins on their faces, are nevertheless a little more exacting in their measurements and cooperation.<\/p>\n

Everyone sets their flasks down, and stand absolutely still, looking at Mr. Kilsome.<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay. Now, pour some water into a beaker, and make sure it\u2019s cold, you\u2019ll want exactly 25 ccs\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cHow do we know it\u2019s cold with these gloves on?\u201d Michael says, his voice cracking slightly.<\/p>\n

\u201cUse a thermometer, Mr. Inbay. The taps should run less than 68 degrees\u2026 if we\u2019re lucky.\u201d His face is grave as he glares at Michael.<\/p>\n

Michael swallows, reaches for a thermometer. Greg turns on the taps. Lisa is still doing all of the work, but Jenni\u2019s taken a few steps back, not realizing she\u2019s now just that much closer to the students\u2014and flasks\u2014behind her.<\/p>\n

\u201cOnce you\u2019ve gotten 25 ccs of cold water, gently, and I do mean gently, pour that into the flask.\u201d The students begin to pour. \u201cMr. Inbay! Gently!\u201d Michael\u2019s eye go wide and he stops pouring. \u201cAnd you, Gregory, don\u2019t hover over the top like that.\u201d Greg steps back.<\/p>\n

\u201cBy now your flask should have the powder mixture on the bottom, with the water on top.\u201d He pauses for effect, and says in a lower tone, \u201cuh, does anyone, uh have debris\u2026 floating in their water?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOh my god,\u201d Jenni says, backing up and pointing. \u201cHers does! Hers does!\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOkay everyone. Start to stir the mixture, vigorously.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut you said not to agitate it!\u201d says Gregory, a large frown distorting his face. Agitate is probably the biggest word he\u2019s ever said.<\/p>\n

\u201cThat was before you had the dihydrogen monoxide. Now stir! Stir!\u201d<\/p>\n

The students begin to stir. Lisa is holding her flask at arm\u2019s length, head twisted to the side. Other students are following suit. Everyone\u2019s eyes are huge behind their goggles.<\/p>\n

\u201cOnce you have a uniform texture and consistency, set the flask down.\u201d There are few thumps as students, eager to the get the flask out of their hands, set them down quickly.\u201d Gently!\u201d Mr. Kilsome shouts.<\/p>\n

Greg and Michael set theirs down, jaws agape, staring. Lisa sets her down, eyes shifting back and forth from Mr. Kilsome to the flask.<\/p>\n

The room is utterly still.<\/p>\n

In a quiet voice, Mr. Kilsome says. \u201cNow I will reveal to you the nature of this truly remarkable chemical. Are you ready?\u201d<\/p>\n

Nobody moves.<\/p>\n

\u201cPeel back the label on pot number one.\u201d<\/p>\n

Arms out stiff to keep from approaching the lab tables too close, the students pick up pot number one, the sound of labels peeling off like whispers in the silence.<\/p>\n

Greg says, out loud, \u201cFlour baking powder salt.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYes.\u201d Mr. Kilsome says, an evil grin on his face. \u201cAnd now pot number 2.\u201d<\/p>\n

The students peel off the sticker on pot #2. \u201cPowdered milk powdered eggs sugar\u201d, Michael reads.<\/p>\n

Mr. Kilsome says \u201cThe chemical we\u2019ve just created\u2026 is fear.\u201d<\/p>\n

No one moves.<\/p>\n

\u201cWe\u2019re making pancakes?\u201d Lisa suddenly shouts, and starts laughing. Other students follow her and start laughing as well. It\u2019s the happiest day of her life.<\/p>\n

Mr. Kilmore is laughing too. \u201cAnd now we\u2019ve created another fine chemical\u2014relief!\u201d The students laugh louder. \u201cGo ahead and turn on your Bunsen burners. You should find wire frames, small frying pans and spatulas in the cabinets below your lab tables.\u201d<\/p>\n

The students continue to laugh and shout as they turn on the burners and pull out their pans. That Mr. Kilsome\u2026 what a crazy teacher. Greg socks Michael in the arm for being such a fraidy cat. Jenni steps close enough that Lisa can smell her shampoo, and they make eye contact for the first time, ever.<\/p>\n

Mr. Kilsome smiles, and picks up another pot, making sure the false label on it hides the words \u201crat poison. \u201cI\u2019ve got the powdered sugar!\u201d he shouts.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

fiction by Jason Edwards Chemistry 1-A at Dunmaru High is buzzing with the usual student chatter. Jenni Olmack\u2019s wearing that jacket everyone saw at Oldsen\u2019s, the one that cost like a gajillion dollars. Greg Tarkley and Michel Inbay are punching each other in the shoulder. Everyone\u2019s ignoring Lisa Besson because everyone always ignores Lisa Besson. … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “YOU Are the Experiment”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[5],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-454","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-fiction"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p24y52-7k","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/454","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=454"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/454\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=454"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=454"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=454"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}