Flash Friday will be me showing you tiny pieces of fiction until I get bored with it or forget or get abducted by a gigantic sea gull. Note I say sea gull and not albatross. That asshat Coledridge screwed albatross for us as a metaphor and now we can\u2019t use it.<\/p>\n
Many of these are from the Reddit subreddit \/r\/writingprompts.<\/p>\n
Prompt:<\/strong> The Alphabet Game: each sentence starts with the next letter of the alphabet.<\/em><\/p>\n Anytime any asks me why I insist on assaulting angels, I tell them. Because those bitches deserve to be beaten, bruised, bullied. Can you see me, there in front of a statue? Daring them to do something about it. Egging them on. Fist balled into tight packages of pain. Getting ready to rumble! Hatred spilling from my eyes. I start to dance around, weaving like a snake. Just when you think I\u2019m, you know, just dancing\u2026. Kapow! Let \u2018em have it, right into the solar plexus. Make \u2018em cry. Next, the kicking. One, two three! Punch \u2018em a few more times. Quick as lightning. Really quick. Sting \u2018em like a wasp. Till they can\u2019t take no more. Unless they CAN take more, cause I GOT more to give. Very few angelic statues can stand my assaults. When I\u2019m done, there\u2019s just rubble, and crying. Xerox my face, put up all the signs you want. You\u2019ll never catch me, jack. Zoos full of enraged gorillas couldn\u2019t stop me, jack.<\/p>\n Prompt:<\/strong> The sun rose as normal, flooding the sky with wonder. Hours later, though, the sun has not set, has not faded, has not moved from its perch atop the clouds. What do people think? What do they do?<\/em><\/p>\n I\u2019m sitting on my front porch, holding a copy of Harlan Ellison\u2019s Shatterday<\/em> and wearing a pair of the most powerful sunglasses money can buy. The sunglasses are stolen. I stole them because the idea that sunglasses can be powerful is stupid. They just sit there. They don\u2019t do anything. They\u2019re polarized and smoked and they don\u2019t do anything to UV rays, they just block them, somehow. I\u2019m trying to stare at the sun, but it\u2019s still too bright.<\/p>\n I open the book to my bookmark, “Jeffty is Five,” but I can\u2019t see anything for a minute because of the sun staring. I really hate Harlan Ellison. He\u2019s an old man and a hack and an arrogant prick. But there\u2019s this girl on the bus who likes him, so now I have to read this crap. Science fiction is for idiots.<\/p>\n And unfortunately for me, some idiots have very large boobs.<\/p>\n It feels like I\u2019ve been out here for hours, days. Chitter chatter on the radio about magnetic pulses from the sun. Blither blather about America getting hotter while China starts to freeze. But I\u2019m not a fool, I know that radios don\u2019t work when magnetic pulses screw up the earth, and this radio, it was made in China, probably. Just another butt-load of fiction. Give me a break.<\/p>\n No, seriously, give me a break. If the earth\u2019s stopped spinning, then I\u2019m going to be fifteen for a very long time, and that is not acceptable.<\/p>\n