{"id":663,"date":"2013-04-05T07:56:18","date_gmt":"2013-04-05T15:56:18","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/?p=663"},"modified":"2013-04-05T07:56:18","modified_gmt":"2013-04-05T15:56:18","slug":"embrace-crap","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/2013\/04\/05\/embrace-crap\/","title":{"rendered":"Embrace Crap"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"macaroni-and-cheese\"<\/a>I call it crap because that\u2019s what other people call it, but that\u2019s just a label, a convenience for conveying judgment. I don\u2019t really think it\u2019s crap, but I do think calling it crap is crap. I\u2019ll let your noodle noodle through that one.<\/p>\n

You see, I\u2019m sick. Not permanently! Just a small cold, or flu or cancer or something. I\u2019m not sure. Started a few days ago, scratchy throat, and has moved out of my throat into my head. My theory, based on my medical degree, years of research, successfully guessed and executed experiments, and my extremely high IQ, is that I over did it (running), and along with allergies thanks to a few days sunshine, my immune system took a hit. Opportunistic bugs brought home by my wife (who works in the filthiest place a human can work: hospital) pounced and thus I\u2019m feeling purty low.<\/p>\n

And I\u2019m craving macaroni and cheese. And not just any: Kraft Mac n Cheese. And not just any: K M&C eaten straight from the sauce pan. Which I\u2019m told is crap.<\/p>\n

Cause that\u2019s the world we live in, where every time a person describes a thing, there\u2019s a bunch of people ready to jump in and call it crap: \u201cMy gramma made the BEST mac and cheese. She used REAL cheese, not that fake crap Kraft uses. Corporations ruin everything. What you need is an herbal tea infusion and lots of rest. Go to bed and read that author who writes about prisoner rights in Indochina. At least you don\u2019t have it as bad as they do!\u201d<\/p>\n

Yes I do. I have it worse than they do. I\u2019m sick, god damn it, and I feel like crap. I don\u2019t like books about prisoners. Herbal tea tastes terrible. Corporations employ thousands of people, and processed cheese \u201cfood\u201d is made of the same carbon, hydrogen, and oxygen as that so-called real \u201ccrap\u201d your gramma used. And screw your gramma\u2014I heard she was a racist and a homophobe.<\/p>\n

You see what this cold\/flu\/meningitis has done to me? Turned me into a republican hipster. @#$%^&*<\/p>\n

Anyhoo, I just want to encourage you to ignore the idiots, and embrace crap. You like Vegas? Go to Vegas. You like watching CSI? Get it on DVD and watch the extras and outtakes. You like Coors? Drink your Coors. And I apologize for all the times I call your joy crap.<\/p>\n

I could try to say, now, that people are judgmental because they\u2019re insecure\u2014but that\u2019s a load of horse shit. People are judgmental because they\u2019re assholes. I mean, yeah, maybe they are insecure, and they\u2019re hypocrites, and cynical to the point of killing hard-ons. But who cares: ignorning them is easier than understanding them.<\/p>\n

Embrace crap. Life\u2019s too short. Your time on earth is no Sistine Chapel, and you\u2019re no Michelangelo\u2014and even if it was and you were, that just means you\u2019d wind up with fat tourists stomping around in your memories. Screw that.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I call it crap because that\u2019s what other people call it, but that\u2019s just a label, a convenience for conveying judgment. I don\u2019t really think it\u2019s crap, but I do think calling it crap is crap. I\u2019ll let your noodle noodle through that one. You see, I\u2019m sick. Not permanently! Just a small cold, or … <\/p>\n

Continue reading “Embrace Crap”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-663","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-opinion"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p24y52-aH","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/663","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=663"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/663\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":666,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/663\/revisions\/666"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=663"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=663"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.bukkhead.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=663"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}