I Hate Ted Mosby

I hate Ted Mosby, but let it be known that I do not hate the actor who portrays him, John Radnor. Or Josh Radnor. Or whatever. And this is a valid point, because I do very much like the other actors on How I Met Your Mother. I absolutely adore Alyson Hannigan (who doesn’t? I kill them). Neil Patrick Harris is the man. Jason Segel’s got chops. I don’t know much about Cobie Smulders, but she’s good looking, and she’s Canadian (I have sort of a thing for Canadians. And Jewish girls. And Indians. Just don’t ever introduce me to a Canadian Jewish Indian girl. Just don’t).

I don’t know anything about John or Josh or Jack Radnor. When I Google him, his not-as-Ted Mosby face seems alright to me. So maybe he’s the greatest actor of all time. Because when I see his Ted Mosby face, I am filled with hatred. I just don’t like that guy. He’s smug. He’s arrogant. He’s lazy. He’s a misogynist (oh yes he is god damn it. Maybe you say Barney’s the misogynist? At least Barney doesn’t fool himself and others into thinking he wants more than what he wants).

Look, I’m not prepared to do a deep analysis of the character, or the show for that matter, because I really try not to watch it. My wife watches it. My sister-in-law and her husband watch it. Everybody watches it. The people who award Emmys watch it. And I’m not saying I’m better or cool or hip because I don’t watch this hit TV show. And I’m not trying to be secretly cool by saying I’m not cool. I know I’m a loser. But I’m no Ted Stupid-Head Mosby.

I don’t like Glee, either, cause I don’t like the singing much, although when they’re not singing, when Sue Sylvester’s on the screen, that show is awesome. I don’t like The New Girl, because it’s basically a one-camera sitcom painfully stretched to the multi-camera format. I don’t like Up All Night except when Maya Rudolph is on the screen, and of course I admit Christina Applegate is an amazing actress, and c’mon, Will Arnett is a genius, so okay, I do like that show, but I don’t like that I like it. I tell you all this so you can contextualize my dislike for How I Met Your Mother based on Ted Please Catch On Fire Mosby.

I also hate the theme song to the show. Which really sucks, for me, because pretty much the whole time I’ve been writing this, I’ve had it stuck in my head.

Did you know there’s a web site called tedmosbyisajerk.com? It was made by someone on the show, not a real person, so this is the writers themselves saying the man’s not worth a small pile of bee barf. Judging from the website’s content, it’s actually based on an experience someone had with Barney, but that’s not the point. The point is, I hate him.

And I am not alone. There’s Facebook pages dedicated to hating him, blogs, web content; they call him whiny, a schmuck, self-centered. The word that keeps popping up again and again is “douche.” Don’t know if I agree with that. I mean, I do– not in the same way Schmidt on the The New Girl is a douche (re: douchebag jar) but Ted Mosby is for sure a douche in that sense of I-don’t-like-him-so-every-bad-word-is-okay-to-use-to-describe-him.

Do you hate Ted Mosby? Think carefully. Search your soul, look deep inside your heart. You do, don’t you? You watch the show, but it’s despite, not because of, Ted Cracker Please Mosby. I knew it.

57 Replies to “I Hate Ted Mosby”

    1. Esteban? More like Esteidiota. Ted is not a genius. Bukkhead is right that Ted is a total douche. I’m not saying I dislike the show, I actually like it. But your comment sucks, dude, because of how wrong it is.

    2. Dude the issue about you actually writting all this is because you were obviously called a mosby, or that you were similar to him, right?
      also if you heard your wife and friends oncein a while or catched the show, you would know that the website “tedmosbyisajerk.com” is a joke reference to an episode in which, barney, uses his name and “his profession” to pick up women, to prove a point;which can be seen on the drawings on that website… a thin guy on a suit in “horrible situations, then a chick made such site and showed it to Ted to troll him.

      1. Didn’t read the whole blog post, did ya?

        “Judging from the website’s content, it’s actually based on an experience someone had with Barney…”

        That’s okay. Literacy isn’t for everyone.

      2. Are you retarded? Did you actually just refer to someone being called “a mosby”? What person’s life is so bad, that they actually refer to someone, as pulling a “mosby”. You seriously need to evaluate your life and see if you actually deserve to be alive. I think your intelligence is so low, you might need to think about not living.

    3. Ted mosby is a complete twat, if I knew him in real life i would be annoyed that i got to know someone like that, it’s just not him but all of them but mainly him,i mean if ihad friends like that that stick their noses into anything that has nothing to do with them then they need to go, and if i had a friend like mosby i would have to kill him or move away secretly in the night to avoid seeing him and thus ending in his life. Ted mosby and his chronic cronies are the Crap on the soles of my shoes.

  1. You know, it took me a long while to realize why I didn’t like the show.

    I’d watch and think, “Yea this is a little corny, but why does it turn my stomach? Barney, Lilly, Marshall, Robin, these are all pretty funny characters. So why do I hate it so much?”

    Then I realized that it’s because they put this dope in the lead. It’s like every inner turmoil or emotional struggle he has with “finding himself” or whatever just detracts from the honestly funny situations that are going on with the honestly funny characters.

    The worst part, though, is that I’d be willing to bet that the show’s creators know this is the case — the problem is that they formatted a show as a retrospective from the view of the character that just so happened to be the worst out of the bunch.

  2. you know what i hate the most about Ted Mosbey? Its that he has to put his friends through all his crap. He’s been with tons of beautiful women just trying to find his “the one” but breaks all of their hearts because hes freaking narcissistic. You know who his true “the one” is? Himself. How any woman could find anything interesting about Ted Mosbey is beyond my comprehension. He broke up with Barney when he and Robin slept together but didn’t get mad at Robin…I mean come on it was a freaking year. What really bothers me about Ted Mosbey is that he pretends hes this deep guy that has something to offer the world but hes just a freaking bore and hes freaking pretentious…But I love How Met Your Mother. Its an awesome show!

  3. Funny fact, I really like Ted, and I hate Alyson Hannigan so freaking hard. If I could jump into the show to kick her butt, I would do it right now, I mean just tale her Voice it’s like always have a flue. But I’m French and when I watch the show in French and she has a nice voice.

    1. Her voice in french is flat. And they did shit with 80% of what she’s saying, with crappy translation. For me she’s the only “normal” one in this show, she loves her man, she fight for her relationship, se expects respect, she is there for her friends… The Mosby-thing is just using people when they can bring him something, then he’s like “ho god, I didn’t deserve so much”. I mean, in real life, a guy like that should be so lonely and pathetic…

  4. Ted Mosby is a huge douchebag. I don’t like his faggy graphic t’s, his faggy hair, or his holier-than-thou attitude. I think I actually curse at him in every episode. The fact that Robin, who is awesome, actually dated him makes me sick. I have dreams at night about smashing Ted Mosby in the face with a barstool. Oh…. and don’t even get me started on how much I hate the college-flashback version on Ted Mosby. He needs to get run over by a bus. The show would improve 100%.

  5. This show caters to a nerdy hipster culture that’s pretentious and pathetic, at best. I don’t know why people think it’s cool to be a geek and never grow up but so many shows are like this. I don’t even watch TV any more. Nothing is relating to real life. My neighbor’s cat is more entertaining.

  6. I love the show, mostly because of Patrick Neil Harris. I mean, he is so stunning that I wanna eat him:)LOL, anyways, ted mosby is just lots of “nothing”. I mean, the way his shoulders always are lifted up in a kind of a questioning position and what kind of a haircut is that? Every time Barney turns me on, Ted turns me off in a split second. It is torturing:))) I wish they would pick someone else for that part, as well as change his boring lines, he is BORING!!!!!!

    Another person is the Dr. McNamara’s wife in the Nip Tuck show. I have no idea how they had approved that lady for that role. She is bed looking actress who is A LOT in the show, in fact, so much that I really can’t watch it. The show is magnificent; writing, cast, story, etc. The only time you stop believing this show is when hot, funny, successful surgeon is falling for a psychotic, past middle age biatch (oops).

  7. I hate Ted as well. What you also left out is that he is the world’s biggest pussy. He’s also a big baby. The douche finally has Robin on the couch and he’s sooo worried about some girl in Germany that he has to “officially” break up with her to be with Robin. He’s also very insecure that can’t make any decision without consulting his friends. A shame for men everywhere to be painted like such a pussy.

    1. I like that you obfuscated your alleged profanity, but not the word “fuck” in your name. Also, what profanity is 23 or 27 letters long? Are you including the spaces? And why only 3 special characters? Throw a brother an @ symbol once in awhile.

  8. I really did not read the article above but Im pretty sure that I hate Ted Mosby! HIMYM is a great show but the guy looks like an old fashion lady looking for husband. Patetic…

  9. Have you been to tedmosbyisajerk.com? It’s actually about the night on the show when Barney pretended that he was Ted Mosby, Architect… I agree with you that Ted is a douchebag, but your argument loses a lot of weight when you don’t actually do the research.

    1. And YOUR argument lost weight when you failed to see that I wrote:

      “Judging from the website’s content, it’s actually based on an experience someone had with Barney,”

      But maybe weight loss is a good thing?

  10. You know that tebmosbyisajerk.com is part of an episode where Neil Patrick Harris or Barney pretends to be Ted because he’s slept with too many girls to use his own name right?

    1. Yes, hence my having written, “Judging from the website’s content, it’s actually based on an experience someone had with Barney, but that’s not the point.”

      1. The fact that you even put “so this is the writers themselves saying the man’s not worth a small pile of bee barf.” really doesn’t help you.

  11. You’re 100% right on how Ted is such a creepy misogynist. He’s also a really terrible friend and I don’t understand why the other characters hang around with him. Except maybe Barney, since they have a lot in common.

  12. Man I just hate Ted Mosby too, he is just fucking retarded, not only is he a douche but he can’t be happy. Hell, he goes on whining when Barney bangs Robin.
    Yet when they make a bet to bang any chick in the bar and Barney tells her she slept with him, he doesn’t even care.
    Barney man, he got him a job not once but twice. He even put his own career in the ropes and what this douche does? Back stab hims the second a cute girl wants to get the D.
    Should I mention when Hurricane Irene? Ted was going to betray Barney for a girl. AGAIN.
    The fact is Ted sees himself as the best guy ever, as the cutest. When in reality he sucks, he is a megalomaniac entitled little prick. I don’t recall flying all the way to San Francisco to get Lily back, oh but when she arrived. He make such a big deal about it. Barney won the “Price is Right” and gave ALL the gifts to Lily and Marshall. He also paid for their vacation and even got a job for Robin.
    What was Ted doing? Oh yes, being this such good guy with the good comments.

    To be honest I want to kill the fucker, no one but him has a REAL dad. Hell he even has two, and what he does? He goes on and on bitching about them. . .
    Marshall’s died, Lily’s was a fiasco, Robin’s a prick and Barney’s coward.

    One last note: The hero of the show is BARNEY. It’s hinted in the show numerous. From Barney seeing the true victim in Karate Kid to Ted getting served in “Weeding Bride”( one last point at how Ted left her just because she was left at the altar). By the way, he sucks as a lover too.

  13. Ted Mosby is a useless twat. He is completely brainless, he throws away good women, and enjoys getting used by complete bitches. he NEVER learns his damn lesson, and he never changes. Other characters grow and develop, yet ted just stays the same doormat jackass throughout the whole show.

    when he does finally meet “your mother”, she’ll probably cheat on him, and make those kids that are apparently “his”.

    no wonder Bob Saget does the narration, they’re probably his kids

  14. i like so much Ted , and he’s the best actor of this show. I think YOU are a jerk and a “véritable connard” like whe say in french. I am french and it’s difficult for me to write in english, because i have so much to say about you and your shit that you have writen.
    It’s damage but if someone wants to translate i can write a long , and an interesting purpose about the psychological problems that you are certainly affected .

    1. That’s pretty harsh to say dude. Just because someone doesn’t like a character on a show doesn’t mean you should accuse them of having psychological problems. A man’s opinion is his opinion. The only person acting like a jerk here is you. It’s really not that serious.

    2. lol the french voting for the series manwhore…and even when we ignore that- i mean come on, Ted tells his children on and on and on how much he loves Robbin and how she was the only women for him, yeah as a kid i soooooo would want to know that my father banged and wanted to marry my aunt….come on get real

  15. just for add an other thing
    Alyson Hannigan is jewish
    Jason Segel is jewish
    and Josh Radnor is jewish
    and Cobie smulders , it’s possible , I am not sure .
    This is not a problem for you.

  16. I agree 100% with the things you wrote. But, and there’s always a but, your statement “…I don’t watch this hit TV show.” ruined your arguments for not liking Ted I fucking hate his guts Mosby. I could understand that you wouldn’t like him if you had watched the whole show, because what you have seen is only the tip of the iceberg of why some people can’t stand him.
    Although I respect your opinion of him, I still see it as a bit invalid. What if there were some episodes, you hadn’t seen, that related to why he acted in certain ways? There aren’t any episodes that relate to why he is acting like a fuckbag of peanuts, but what if?
    Now that my rant of your rant of Ted please get killed by the “Paranormal Activity Demon” Mosby is over, I’ll say that your rant is subjective. And therefore I don’t really have any reason to criticize your post, and for that, I am sorry.. I guess?
    But I envy you for not watching the show. Because even though I hate the show with all of my heart, I can’t stop myself from watching it. Now I have to know who the mother is. And thank GOD that it’s almost over.
    But the entire show is a farce. The jokes and gimmicks are so overused. And I now hate every single character of the show. And just like you told the readers to search their soul to realize that Ted is not the saint that he thinks he is, I had to do a whole lot of it myself to find out why I hated the show so much. Anyways… Rant over.
    Have a good day… Night.. Or whatever.

  17. Top Ten reasons Ted’s a douche:

    His constant speeches about how he’s so amazing and he doesn’t understand why all women aren’t into him.
    He incessantly pressures women into sex if it’s been over a month since they started dating.
    He scopes out sluts and complains that there are no quality women.
    He never listens to Lily and Marshall (the get your random skank out of our pictures episode was particularly infuriating).
    He badgers women into dating him and loses interest in a week.
    He asked Victoria to give up her scholarship for him and put the blame on her when he cheated.
    He makes impassioned speeches about how he’s learned from his mistakes to shut those who criticize him up… but he never actually does. (2 am episode)
    He actually thinks he’s better than Barney (come on Ted).
    He openly lies to women about his feelings for them and his feelings for Robin (Cue Victoria again).
    His choice of friends clearly reflects where he’s at in his life, since they’re all too scared to tell him he’s a giant douchebag.

    However, tv shows are all about characters we love to hate, which is why this show is so unbelievably addictive. Well, that and Neil Patrick Harris.

  18. He’s a complete loser. Like I believe his name was mitch said….hes a pussy. Hes scared of everything, he is the weakest man in every sense. He has no muscles, he has NO backbone, he is whiny and complains constantly, he has Robin in front of him waiting to bang, and like the pussy he is, thinks about his EX girlfriend that he didnt break up with properly. I mean….really? Go out and find one guy, literally find ONE guy, who would have Robin naked in front of them, and instead of havin GREAT sex, goes running into the bathroom to make a secret phone call at that EXACT moment, to act like the biggest pussy-boy coward ever…..giving up hot sex, to make a sudden phone to an EX girl, who doesnt give two shits about your geeky ass (as seen by her leaving your geeky ass to go overseas)….it pisses me off, bc this is what Television has come down to. Weak, pathetic men, who are whiny and sad….who make decisions that reflect that of NO ONE in real life, not even nerds. What nerd would go whine when a hot girl is waiting in the other room? Even NERDS would ridicule this douche. I cannot stand him, youre all right, hes pretentious, incredibly stupid, hes a pussy, hes a nerd, hes scared, basically the definition of a bitch. I imagine Radnor is a douche in real life, as seen by how he was cast as a douche. It saddens me, to see that people watch this, but this is what america is nowadays. Uneducated, lazy morons, who sit around watching it bc Robin is so hot, bc it simply is not funny, Mosby has never ONCE made a funny joke or comment, I will admit Barney is slightly funny only bc its NPH…..but this show is incredibly hard to watch, it makes American men look even worse than the world already thinks we are. Is Ted Mosby, really supposed to be the “hero” the writers want us to believe he is or “should” be? Is weakness, and whining like a little bitch…..suddenly become a virtue, in our society? Just sad….

    1. I agree with what you say, except that every men are not just ballsacks ready to have sex with any hot girl just because she wants… That’s a bit of a cliché.

    2. you got it a bit wrong…if Ted had balls he would have ended the relationship with his grilfriend before he went to bang Robbin…that he was not man enough to end and beginn a relationship like a real someone with manners says everything.

      oh and why should victoria have declined the offer from germany…come on…who wouldnt have grabbed that chance…why is it her problem that Ted cant keep it in his pants? Even so he was the one who wanted to keep the relationship going. He is a douche

  19. Ted Mosby is so typical of many people we can see now… They all pretend to be everything : they are gay-friendly, eco-friendly, social-friendly, citizens of the world, they love everyone and everything, with this weird way to pretend that what they are sooooo caring for others that they completely forget themselves. Well, that’s what Ted Mosby wants to look like. But he is actually just a selfish idiot. He’s an awful teacher (boring as hell), he’s not a good friend (how many times did you see him using his friends ?), he’s a terrible lover (I’m sorry but in real life, a guy like that would need a therapy), he doesn’t want a girl in particular with who he’d share a lot, now he just want to find a “thing”, whatever she is, as long as she is sappy, romantic, and of course if she wants to marry him. Grow up Mosby, you are not interesting !

  20. You’re so wrong. Ted is an amazing charater and he is not a pussy. He is just looking for the right girl. What, now a guy can’t look for the right girl? You’re being childish. He throws away the girls because he wants “the one”, and he is trying to find it. Do you think he is a bad friend? He was the one who told Robin to go up in the building when he loved her. And if he didn’t told her, Barney and Robin weren’t getting marry! If that is being bad friend, i don’t know what is being a good friend. . Ted is the main charater, and without him, wouldn’t be no How I Met Your Mother. Ted is a good professional, is a good friend, and I’m sure that he is a good husband and a good dad. I don’t really understand why you don’t love Ted. Ted is a great person, he is honest, of course he mad mistakes, but who didn’t? So, who are you to judge Ted? No one. So, please, if you want to judge him for being a real gentleman, you don’t have that right. But first, you have to watch the show to talk abou him. Ted is the best charater of How I Met Your Mother.

  21. First Off, I Find It Very Strange That All Of The French People Commenting Love The Gigantic Bag Of Decomposing Weasels That Is Ted Mosby. Secondly, And Most Importantly, Seeing Ted Mosby Fall Through A Plate Glass Window And Into A Lemon Juice Processing Facility Would Be The Single Most Satisfying Moment In Television History. Has There Ever Been Such A Whiny, Narcissistic, Somehow Survived An Abortion, Piece Of Human Garbage That Was On A Hit Tv Show? I Don’t Watch The Show, But I Have Tried Numerous Times. I Just Cannot Stand That “All I Want To Do Is Get Marrrrrrrried” Boring Piece Of Shit. Hate Everything About Him, And Especially The Fact That He Is Not An Actual Representation Of Any Actual Male I Have Ever Known. Not To Mention The Fact That He Is The Antithesis Of Myself. To Summarize, Ted Mosby, Find A House Fire And Run Inside, I Promise The Girl You’re Going To Marry Is In There!

  22. U rather suck dude… I love ted and robin together but just didn’t work out for them ..
    That was y I got to hate the writer But I love the show..

  23. Im just so happy and thankfull to hear the beligerant hatred you all feel for Ted Mosbey. I do enjoy this show, not going to lie and say its great (total rip off of friends, Mosby is Ross. Except Ross was a cool dusche) i enjoy all the sitcom mischif, but am baffled about there lead roll. Im curious if its just “the curse of Mosby” or if Josh Radnor is an ok actor. One things for sure, every time i see his stupid head in the clouds 12 year old girl dreaming of unicorns stupid look on his face. All i see is red…

    My apologies for spelling.

  24. سلام
    البته من از قصد دارم این نوشته رو فارسی می نویسم تا شماها هم یکم برین با گوگل ترسنسلیتور کار کنین
    آقا این سریال حرف نداره خیلی هم عالی اصلا هم دوشواری نداریم
    میدونم پشمات ریخته داری اینو میخونی سر از کون خرم در نمیاری ولی در کل سریال جالبیه و تد موزبی هم شخصیت باحالی داره با اینکه شخصیت مورد علاقه من مارشاله
    Thank 😉

  25. Ted’s the best character. He’s just looking for the best girl he can find, and I appreciate that. Barney is a jerk and way worse than Ted, but you guys love him. In assuming it’s because he’s played by a gay guy, which makes you people feel like loving his character makes you a better person. Robin is a slut. She’s more whiny than Ted is about everything. Lily and Marshall are amazing. Ted is the main character. He’s awesome. He treats the mother like she’s the best thing in the world and loves her with all of his heart, not even dating anyone until six years after her death. So no, you’re all wrong.

    1. No, You are ALL wrong, Cody. First, Ted is the worst character, and I wrote a whole blog post about it, so that’s proof. Second, “in assuming” people like Barney just because NPH is gay is making an ass of you, and just you. Remember, Cody, homophobia is the first symptom of being gay. But it’s okay to be gay, Cody, and if you are gay I will probably like whatever character you play on TV. Third, calling Robin a slut is straight-up misogyny, and hating women sort of supports the idea that you only like men. It’s okay to be gay, C, but not okay to hate women. Fourth, Lily and Marshall are not amazing, they’re normal, and they’re what every person in the world should try to be like. Finally, not dating for six years just because someone you met a few episodes ago is not love, it’s morbid.

  26. I agree with you. I want to reach into the TV and wring the guys neck. They should really just eliminate him from the show.

  27. Ted Mosby is wuss. Very unlikable character. What guy in his late 20s is so obsessed with getting married? This story line is Totally ridiculous. There have been countless times that I have been subjected to watch this annoying copy of “Friends”.
    Let’s pull the wool from our eyes and see that “HIMYM” is just a bastardized, regurgitated version of “Friends”.

    Plus, pretty sure no guy in the world gets laid as much as Barney Stinson without seeping puss from a hole somewhere. No one’s game is that good.
    If I have to hear, “Wait for it… Wait for it…” Im going to stab my ear with a spoon.

    Also, why doesn’t Ted Mosby just come out of his little closet? Gaydar levels are very high with this one.

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