When I’m bored or sad or depressed but mostly when I’m bored, I fantasize about living in a tiny house someplace tropical. A place where I can sit outside, drink beer, eat Spam sandwiches, and read books. Write occasionally, go for long slow runs.
What’s funny is, except for the tropical part, I can do any of that whenever I want to. But I don’t. So what’s the “fantasy.” I used to think it was “having nothing else to do.”
But when I really think about it, it’s not freedom for responsibilities and obligations—it’s freedom from compulsion. Having nothing else to do means I don’t HAVE to do things like see that amazing movie, or eat at that amazing restaurant, or go to the amazing museum.
I know, first world problems. And here’s an even worse example. Steam is having their winter sale right now. I can get A-list video games dirt cheap. $75 titles for 5 bucks… I mean, I HAVE to buy them, right? What an opportunity! And then, I HAVE to play them, right?
I’m 50% through Philip K. Dick’s The Man in the Castle. I HAVE to finish it, right? We’ve watched three episodes of the second season of Homeland… we HAVE to finish the series, right?
All these god damned compulsion. I know, it sounds shallow. But it feels so good to say “no, fuck it” and not feel guilty.
I don’t know about you, man. But sometimes I think I load myself up just so I can say “fuck it” later.