Google is offering Stadia for two months for free, so what am I going to do, say no? I’m a video-game junkie, a drug dealer’s dream come true. They offer me the free sample, and I take it, and I get addicted, and then they say, the next one’s going to cost your first born human child, and I reply with, sure, paper or plastic?
I tried a few titles offered, and they were okay, and either they’ve got the tech right or I’ve got a good enough connection, because the game-streaming experience wasn’t too janky. (If you don’t know what ‘janky’ means, look it up. And then if it turns out I used it wrong, don’t tell me, because I’m too busy freebasing video games to go back and edit my stupid blog posts.)
But then I fired up Zombie Army 4: Dead War. Jankiness ensued, but not too much, and it wasn’t enough to ruin the experience. We’re talking zombies, nazis, headshots, achievements, stickers, weapon-mods, creepy easter-eggs, a robust photo mode… I’m like a heroin addict who’s been given access to extra-awesome chocolate covered heroin that comes in collectible boxes and includes a toy surprise.
There’s a story there too, I guess. Something about how Hitler turned the tide of WWII by creating a zombie horde and although he’s now dead we’re still to this day fighting them off. And this is the 4th installment, although I have to be honest, I never knew about the first three. Blame me, for that, not Rebellion, who makes the games.
I’ve only, so far, played the first campaign mission, but I’ve played it half a dozen times. There’s all kinds of things going on that I haven’t tried. There’s multiplayer, there’s a weekly mission thing, there’s challenges… for extra money there’s weapon skins and different clothing options for your characters. It’s like a doll house, sort of, except your dolls are zombies-killers and your furniture is weapons.
(Or something like that. You’ll have to cut me some slack, I got the DTs here, from withdrawal, from not playing the game so I can type this up).
Should you try it? Yes, because it’s free. I mean no, because it’s free. Don’t try it. Go read a book or get some sun or maybe hop on a Zoom call with your grandma. Rehab clinics have been shut down during the pandemic so you really can’t afford an addiction right now, pal.
